I’ve been hard at work on a musical podcast this February (check it out at radioeugh.com) so FAWM took a bit of a backseat but I figure I can count the things I wrote during the month for the show toward my total, right? This song is featured in the most recent episode, Flesh Prison.
Backing vocals on the last chorus from other members of Team EUGH, including @cleverhansel
Obviously NSFW
In a time before digital natives and noobs
You could still use the internet to look at boobs
But that wasn’t enough and so folks persevered
Got super creative and then shit got weird
Some feel it’s artistic, some feel it has class
Some just want to see things get shoved up an ass
Yes, back before most of us were even born
There’s always existed weird internet porn
Oh, internet porn can pretty damn wild
You never quite know what you’ll find
Some things I feel I can see the appeal
But others I’d like to block out of my mind
Some folks want outlandish fantasies come true
Some want to see things that they wish they could do
Some stuff’s realistic and grounded in truth
Some stuff you can’t do and there’s medical proof
I don’t mean to nitpick, condemn or frustrate
But you have to know buttholes don’t self-lubricate
When you’re in that area, best to take care
Find some quality lube and take time to prepare
I once quizzed a man on what he did prefer
I asked “what’s the appeal of a tentacle, sir?”
He answered me thus in a manner quite plain
“Versatility. They can insert and restrain.
And sometimes they’re moist and sometimes they are dry
You can put them in places down low and up high.”
“Fascinating,” said I, then went on my way
I regret ever asking to this very day
When it comes down to it, I say live and let live
My opinion’s not something you asked me to give
And if you’re into things that’ll make my head tilt
I’m not interested in trying to make you feel guilt
Go ahead and enjoy as folks clutch at their pearls
Just keep it well clear of young boys and young girls
Let conservatives work themselves into a flutter
But the mind of mankind’s always been in the gutter
@berni1954 Mar 2022
Brilliant. Hilarious and yet serious. I could see this as a great singaround song. Especially the Chorus, of course.
@ampersandman Mar 2022
Thanks @oswlek for recommending this, this is a work of art. The lyrics are straightforward but every line of this song displays class, wit and a great humor. Now my innocent little mind is a little curious about that „internet porn“ ...
@oswlek Mar 2022
Brilliant! Just brilliant. Every line is a gem, without question my favorite lyric of this year's FAWM. Just so witty, funny and creative. And to wrap the while thing in a traditional folk ballad is just perfect. This is one for the ages.
@fiddlerblick80 Feb 2022
This rhymes made me giggle. It’s well-crafted and so so fun.
@prsongsmith Feb 2022
Obviously I have no personal experience with the subject matter myself, apart from occasional clinical articles and such. ;-) That said, I just love the combination of your sweet, lilting voice and the jaunty arrangement with the detailed, uncensored, nasty underbelly of the lyrics. Favorite couplet: "Let conservatives work themselves into a flutter/But the mind of mankind’s always been in the gutter."
Spectacular work all around! I was picturing a big chorusline of assorted deviants and tentacle lovers joining you on stage for that last big chorus. And now I want to put that out of my mind. :-)