Here's the 6th of 8 tracks I hope to get final listen nit pick ready before FAWM end.
This is #67 of the WK100 collection (see my profile). It was born during 5090 2016, and here it is today all spruced up and kicked into shape.
Looking for any critical input at all before I put this piece of the puzzle down. Songcraft, Performance, and most especially right now production. Anything too loud? not loud enough? annoying?. Bring your ears and various listening devices and check it out and let me know. Thanks.
2 more days... then I can take a breath and repay all the kind visits over the past 3 weeks (including tit4tats).
Hugs for a wonderful final Sunday of FabFeb22.
Thanks for making mine special. ! :)
Down By The Ferry Dock by Wolf Kier
Copyright 2016 2022 Wolf Kier wk067
contact wolfkier (@) gmail.com
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In a hotel parking lot, down by the ferry dock
The reveries of whores are interrupted only briefly
as their children bring them dinner and necessities of trade.
back home the chores pile up like stumbling blocks
time presuming, time consuming
and the television stands like a beacon in the corner
selling sugar bread ambitions on endless summer nights.
On endless summer nights when the TV watches children
Selling sugar coated visions of the way a mother really ought to be
(the way a mother ought to be)
The Summer bakes it's leaven bread that broken at no table
and if mama wants to pay the rent then she clearly is unable
to return home at a whim to a house that has no him
and surely will not have one for a long time.
On endless summer nights when the TV watches children
Selling sugar coated visions of the way a mother really ought to be
(the way a mother ought to be)
Awww!
And the television stands like a beacon in the corner
selling sugar coated visions of the way a mother really ought to be
They can't afford to believe
of the way a mother really ought to be
Back home the chores pile up like stumbling blocks
time presuming, time consuming
and the television stands like a beacon in the corner
selling sugar coated visions of the way a mother really ought to be
(on endless summer nights)
(the way a mother ought to be)
(lies lies lies lies lies)
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@intoyourlight Mar 2022
I guess beside „Summer number one“ this is my favorite track so far. I just love the guitar riff and the groove. The imagery is great also. I’m kind of lost for words, but maybe it suffices if I say that I listend to the song a few times now because I really enjoy it so much.
@heliosonorous Mar 2022
Really like the bassline in this one, it stands out and guides the track with a solid groove, good lyrics in this one, those guitar strums and echoes on them are well timed. #tit4tat.
@edwardsmusic Mar 2022
Love the drumbeat and MIDI bass. The reverby lead guitar and double-tracked vocals are the icing on the cake. Great production. #tit4tat4
@seanbrennan Mar 2022
I wish I had better capacity to verbalize the specific elements of your style, but something I get from all of your songs, and I think it's unique to you, is the picture of a restless mind in an unfeeling urban jungle. Whatever the lyrical topic, whatever the mood, it always feels like the protagonist (and the listener) have just-not-quite-enough time to really ruminate on the thoughts, before coping with the next thing. Just like urban life!
The instrumental mix, in my opinion, is perfect. The composition is masterful, and this song is brilliant, catchy, and driving. Since you are asking us to turn over every stone, I have one idea, and even this I'm not sure is completely necessary: I wonder if something could be done about the first instance of the "sugar coated visions" line? The phasing between the tracks is a really neat idea, but as currently presented I have to think a moment to process the words, lessening the "oomph." Possibly could the gain be cranked up on the faster one - or maybe the pan exaggerated? Just something to help one of them stick out.
Anyway, bravo on the wry sarcasm, the evocative mood, and a genuine hit on your hands.
@sheslin Mar 2022
Cool vocals and I love the phrasing and articulation - it is very compelling. This line really got me "On endless summer nights when the TV watches children". I really like the kinda chill instrumental track - it is nice under your fast paced lyrics. I like the guitar solo. The outro is fantastic. #tit4tat
@berni1954 Mar 2022
A modern tragedy. Great arrangement, very 90s in feel.
I liked the internal rhyme of whores / chores too!
@williamjames Mar 2022
Really great evocative lyrics! Really great lines like "And the television stands like a beacon in the corner" and "In a hotel parking lot, down by the ferry dock The reveries of whores are interrupted only briefly" Incredible! Liked the relatively monotone melody on this too, your vocals just blend so effortlessly into the music. Another really great one!
@airbagtester Feb 2022
"like a beacon in the corner" is a great description. I think the song's tempo and downward chord progression make me feel some urgency and distress. For a song about hardship this is very groovy - bass and drums are locked in nicely, and the guitar interludes peek through at just the right moments. I like it as is.
@seppo Feb 2022
This is funny and sad at the same time.
Love the little things in background. Something is happening all the time.
Cool as latex on ice.
#tit4tat
@ferry0123 Feb 2022
I love to hear that guitar solo twice, and, in different versions telling different stories! Again, the mix sounds great as well!
@katestantonsings Feb 2022
All of your songs sound polished and perfectly produced to me, but I’ll gladly give my listening experience:) This song starts with such a sound—the bass and guitar riffs are dreamy. Catchy chorus. That guitar riff will be in my head this evening. It’s lovely!