Feb 2022 needs-music needs-collab girl-without-guitar ss022722b superskirmish rainiermariarilke darkness towe
So I was absolutely not going to do another skirmish tonight, but then Rilke who can resist Rilke. I’ve ben carrying around this line that I thought of while reading or misreading some Rilke poem or other a few years back when travel was still a thing and I was in Munich.
That line became the title. I may eventually want to add some more sectins, but not tonight.
Thank you @unpronounceable for another great prompt.
SS022722b, #superskirmish #RainierMariaRilke, #Darkness, #Tower
Locked outside the garden beside the open gate
Nancy Cunningham
Locked outside the garden beside the open gate
Locked outside by bitter thoughts
Locked outside by hate
Locked out by forgetting
Kept outside by fate
Locked outside of Eden
Locked outside of bliss
What can get us back inside
For keys there’s only this
Faith and hope and charity
What else did I miss?
Loving on your neighbor
Even when your neighbor’s pissed
Locked outside the garden
In our sinful state
Locked outside the garden beside the open gate
@datsch Mar 2022
An excellent premise, nicely wrapped in a metaphor, this is tidy and well crafted. I like it short, too -- if I ever look at putting someone's lyrics to music my heart always falls if there are 6 verses to have to churn out ...
@intoyourlight Mar 2022
Those words are beautiful. I like Rilke a lot, his poems are otherworldly and so full of emotion. I can feel that you are a fan of him, reading your lyrics. Am also delighted that we found each other here. Surely next FAWM or for 50/90 I‘d love to turn lyrics of yours into music.
@nancycunning Mar 2022
Hey, @timfatchen That sounds great. I'd love to hear it.
@timfatchen Mar 2022
Read these lyrics and thought "this would go well with a piano/church/gospel feel. @chroes could still do and post as a collab if you both wanted.?
@chroes Mar 2022
Oh my, I am in love with these lyrics... What do I have to do to make this into a song? Can't finish it this fawm obviously, but I'd love to do it anyway if you like?
If you're interested, just leave me a message or mail with your conditions or thoughts. Thank you!
@crutherford Feb 2022
i feel like i've been missing out on rilke... i think i need to fix that. love that you list the reasons why they're locked out and then give solutions. i love solutions.
my fav one was: Loving on your neighbor
Even when your neighbor’s pissed
you made me laugh.
great skirmish!
@pipewrench67 Feb 2022
Interprets the thought of the source while walking a different path.
@unpronounceable Feb 2022
<3 Rilke is amazing. Thanks for playing along. I know it's late and we're all exhausted. I think there are wonderful flowers growing in this and look forward to hearing more. Please keep us posted in the thread if/when you update! <3
@kahlo2013 Feb 2022
Wonderful nod to Rilke! Love how you flushed this out in poetic verse! Splendid take on the prompt!