Feb 2022 superskirmish s022622 love-song needs-collab needs-music love
Skirmish S022622
Theme: a silly love song
Hmmm well it's a love song, but it didn't come out as silly as I wanted. Not at all.
Update re smelling clouds as so many people talk about it in the comments: Yes, you can smell clouds. A house I rented once was above the cloud-line facing directly south, on a steep mountainside, sea cliffs at the bottom and with a view out across the Atlantic straight in front and to the right, and to the left I could look into Bantry Bay (which is big lol), on the Beara Peninsula, West Cork, Ireland, and I spent at least 60%+ of my time looking out the window into a white nothingness across the Atlantic towards the Azores. I was in the clouds literally. Walking out in them was magic, and had a smell all of it's own. Being positioned where I lived, the clouds were pollution free and smelled like fresh line dried linen as it hung on the line, only much stronger. That's the best way I can describe it :)
Collabs welcome :)
Chorus
I can smell the clouds as they stream beside us singing
Such a sweet song for my girl
She's gorgeous always smiling
And those clouds they know what's what
cus what they always sing is true
They can tell you what I can't
They can tell you what I feel
v1
They'll tell you how much love I have
That I burn just to hold you oh so close
Heated feelings drive me mad
Gotta find a way to cope
Chorus
I can smell the clouds as they stream beside us singing
Such a sweet song for my girl
She's gorgeous always smiling
And those clouds they know what's what
cus what they always sing is true
They can tell you what I can't
They can tell you what I feel
v2
Have you re-al-ised my heart by now
Is yours in your hands as long as you want
Honest open love I'm proud
Willing to take a punt
Chorus
I can smell the clouds as they stream beside us singing
Such a sweet song for my girl
She's gorgeous always smiling
And those clouds they know what's what
cus what they always sing is true
They can tell you what I can't
They can tell you what I feel
@stuartbenbow Feb 2022
Great write, the sensory contrast is unexpected and grabs your attention right away. The idea that you're unable to convey what you feel, but the clouds always sing truth is great. Love this write.
@nancycunning Feb 2022
I love that unexpected sense image, I can smell the clouds. I'd never thought of smelling clouds, but from now on I will. Glad you let the song drive you where it wants to go. Wonder what music it will find.
@misterdemp Feb 2022
Sweet lyrics...the "take a punt" line gave a little chuckle.
@feb21sundari Feb 2022
My favorite line is:" I can smell the clouds..." what do your clouds smell like ? And love trusts, that's not really silly more kind of naive, but that's how it works ,or?
@unknownbecky Feb 2022
Lovely imagery here! It might not be silly, but it's very sweet.
@prsongsmith Feb 2022
What an original concept - I love the unexpected sensory juxtaposition of clouds you can smell, and that they're streaming beside you (not above you). Great skirmish!
@tjeff Feb 2022
I love the image of the clouds that you set up in the chorus, how they always sing true, and then the last 2 lines are a great touch. Yes, maybe not silly, but a heartfelt lyric nonetheless.
@andygriff Feb 2022
Maybe it didn't come out as silly as intended but it's still a good lyric, some very fine lines in here.
@hmstreetteam Feb 2022
A little heavy, but it seems true to life, and the kind of tension that almost anyone could relate to.
@jeustan Feb 2022
I love how the chorus wraps up with those last two lines. What a wonderfully deep and emotional experience full of poetry and music, to lack the ability to fully express a feeling without a semi-tangible thing. I love the cloud theme with it's nebulous shapes and meaning. Beautifully done.
@kristi Feb 2022
Very sincere and heartfelt. I like the images in the chorus as I imagine them outside under the blue sky together, part of the world. It's funny how what we think we're writing turns into something else! Kinda cool when that happens! Ha Nice work!
@writeandwrong Feb 2022
Aww, sounds like a nice walk in the park, smelling the clouds, refreshing visions in your lyric. Made me think of how I feel in the springtime walking hand in hand... sometimes silence says more than words to let someone know how you feel. Nice skirmish :)