Feb 2022 acoustic-one-take girl-with-guitar ccwelcome
hopefully the lyrics speak for themselves but this is about that horrible feeling when you know or think you know that you fucked up.
I'd like it to be longer and some of the words are eh but it's the 25th and I'm just getting it out there! will workshop this in March hopefully, open to constructive feedback
oh that sick, sweat, hands are shaking
fuck, that guilt is breaking
over me in waves
knocked down by my mistakes
texts you want to leave but
you stare and focus on breathing
in and out in waves
everybody makes mistakes
seconds away from second chances (ooh, ooh, ooh)
too late to go back and re hand it (ooh, ooh, ooh)
I did something bad
oh that creeping fuzzy feeling
pins and puppets needling
every inch of skin
for such a little sin
seconds away from second chances (ooh, ooh, ooh)
human error in the making (ooh, ooh, ooh)
I did something bad (x3)
@dzdandcunfsd Mar 2022
seconds away from second chances is fabulous!
also imagine I just said everything @kahlo2013 did as well. The only thing I would add is this is an outstanding melody as well. Its got a very swaggery blues vibe to it I adore.
I don't think it needs to be longer... unless its instrumental and maybe just repeat some things for me(and all things are subjective... just always want to stress that when giving any feedback) lyrics are all about the hook and this entire thing is hooky(but I'm also a fan of short and sweet and to the point... you can always listen twice :D)
As far as word choices... in the second time around with the second chances(if you were to make it longer I'd lean in on that as the main hook) human? or my? error has got me quaking perhaps? First time through on the re hand it... I get it but I had to think a bit... the hand you're dealt/etc I'm assuming? ...but I'm also a little dense LOL, but yeah really enjoyed this a whole lot!
I really like this 1v1 as it adds to the intimate lamenting over whatever that bad bad thing was :D , and I don't know what your capabilities are as far as able to record things, but I'd love to help if you wanted to add a bunch of instrumentation to this...
@nancihobson1 Feb 2022
what a great line, seconds away from second chances, and I think the oooh oooh ooh really works here
@mario339 Feb 2022
You may have done something bad, but you also did something good: this song :)
@kahlo2013 Feb 2022
Seconds away from second chances is such a great line! Wish I would have thought of that! And your soaring vocals on that line are so awesome as is the honest vulnerability in the I did something bad repeated line. I love how we have no idea what you/the singer did but we definitely know it was not good and the fall out was not either. Love it!
@firesail Feb 2022
Nice work! I like the way the cadence of the vocals move in the verses.