Feb 2022
After bumping into the hook line, I went on line to make sure I was describing what cigar aficionados consider good cigar smoking, since I don't smoke them myself.
It's time to get cracking since there is only a week of FAWM left, so I'm just going with a verse-chorus here with a simple, elec piano-vocal track.
Like a Big Cigar
Bad luck
Hard times
You’re waiting for the train
Putting all the blame
On someone/something else
Work it out
Don’t jerk it off
Take the proper load
Get on the road
And Learn from it, friend
Don’t just take it in the end
Own it
(Yeah, baby)
And smoke it like a big cigar
(Yeah, baby)
Like a big cigar
Cut it
Toast it
Don’t inhale it
Blow it out
Set it down
Let it burn out slowly on its own
(Yeah, baby)
You Smoked it like a big cigar
Smoked it like a big ol’ fat cigar
@aaroneis Feb 2022
Oops. I used my notepad to write the review and accidentally included my work schedule/contacts for last week. I wish I could erase or edit these things…
@aaroneis Feb 2022
This like a spiritual sequel to the Bloodhound Gang’s “Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo”. So much innuendo!
I’m assuming this isn’t actually about cigars…
A suggestion I have would be to hide the direct innuendo a bit more and make it sound plausible that this is actually a song about cigars. For example, instead of “like a big cigar” just use “big cigar”. Use it in place of “(yeah baby)” as a call and response:
Own it
(Big cigar)
Smoke it
(Big cigar)
Etc…
@bractune Feb 2022
Hey, just a follow-up based on your question about the lyrics- I like the obvious double entendre of "just don't take it in the end". There are other cool lines that have multiple meanings. However, I am not sure about "don't jerk it off" just because that really just means one thing. (unless I am missing something, which wouldn't surprise me). It is a fun lyric though...looking forward to a more completed version...!
@bractune Feb 2022
This is good stuff Jeff. Very unique and cool lyrical idea. My only suggestion: the first "Smoke it like a big cigar" in the chorus is IMO the catchiest thing in the song. Maybe find a way to bring that back in again? Maybe several times?
@robheron1 Feb 2022
Very nice short piece. Vocal well done. I like that its kind of loose, no click track or obvious tempo. Like a musical haiku sort of....
Thx!