This one was supposed to be a light orchestral vocal tune… that is not how it ended up. Might be a B side for the prog album. It is very music theater like.
Broken Will
Daybreak… shimmering
Open your eyes
Just breathe.. take in the hour
V1
In the valley the mist
settles like a story book setting
morning vespers the folks gather
At the banks to take in
This picturesque panorama
From a cottage on the hill
You have an unobstructed view
You can see her face plainly
Even though she is in the crowd below
Even though she is in the crowd
Chorus
You can see her
But she won’t ever know you
she sets your heart on fire
She can live free
But she’ll never know you exist
She sets your heart on fire
V2
How can you ever know ?
But somehow in your heart your sure.
she is unaware of you existence
How can you send message ?
Somehow get her attention.
In the Valley below
The divide is so clear
It would be a line crossed
The punishment to severe
Instead the castle walls
Shroud passionate gazes
Chorus
Bridge
To be in love
With a dream
You know you can’t have
@emplate Feb 2022
I like that string instrument on the left channel in the beginning. The bass is also very smooth when it kicks in. This really has twists and turns and there's so much development this could actually be longer! Some of the parts could really build up even more, if given more time :) That's of course only my opinion, and my hats off to you for pulling such a multifaceted composition!
@nagavaeoe Feb 2022
I really like the progression around 1min,
Not sure I get where, 2-3min fits in, but 3min totally rocks.
Awesome metal guitar playing.
Coming out of it all at 4:20 is just haunting.
Then the finish is just pure metal, amazing!
Production tip: on the vocal, roll off up to 150Hz or more.
@nadine Feb 2022
You always get me with a combination of opera and metal. I love the harmonies in the intro and the build into a heavy prog metal song. The piano and the rythm guitars are super cool. This is not a b side but it needs some work.
I'd turn this into a duett. Intro with a soft female voice, verses and heavy parts sung by you, chorus with both. Why? Your heavy vocals are stronger and the contrast would bring it to life.