Feb 2022 comedy country americana folk post-opossum opossum
So, some of y'all may not know it but I, Ray D. Opossum, am a board certified Doctor of Animal Therapy and I try to use my vast skill and talent to help poor woodland creatures who are suffering from any number of ailments.
Much of my work is done on the air on my radio show called "Hey Dr. Ray D. Opossum" but I also love to eat, er, I mean, meet my patients for a better outcome.
I figured a great way to introduce you to my important and critical work is to share with you a typical day on the air! So, here you go!
Hey Dr. Ray D. Opossum (February 20, 2022)
Good morning forest friends and furries! And welcome to the Dr. Ray D. Opossum Radio Program.
I'm your host, Dr. Ray D. Opossum, Woodland Animal Therapist & Gourmet Forest Foodie.
No matter what your problem is, I have the solution!
Our lovely producer Patty Opossum will be screening your calls today.
Now, let's go to the phones! Caller from the pond, you're on the air with Dr. Ray.
Hey Dr. Ray D. Opossum
my name is Fred Frog
I live in the mill pond (stupid frog sang it wrong!)
under a log
all my tadpoles hate me
and my wife is depressed
I need some relief
From all this worry and stress
Oh Fred Frog you poor old soul
I know just what you need
Dr. Ray D. Opossum
is your true friend indeed
I'll have you over for breakfast
That'll fix all this mess
guaranteed to remove all
your worry and stress
That was a great call. Thanks caller. You sound delicious, er, I mean delightful!
Let's take another call. Caller from a garbage can, you're on the air with Dr. Ray.
Hey Dr. Ray D. Opossum
my name is Rick Rat
I live in a dumpster
by the laundrymat
there's a cat chas'in me
like a loony cartoon
I fear for my life
it might be ending too soon
Oh Rick Rat you sad old thing
I know just what you need
Dr. Ray D. Opossum
is your true friend indeed
tomorrow I'll have you for lunch
That'll fix all that
and you'll never ever have to worry at all
about that cat
What an awesome call. And such a flavorful caller, er, I mean, thoughtful caller!
Let's take another call. Caller from the web, you're on the air with Dr. Ray.
Hey Dr. Ray D. Opossum
I'm a spider named Jim
I love to spin webs
but my future seems grim
my wife's a black widow
and I love her with dread
cause I fear I might wake up
one mornin' missing my head
Oh poor little Jim you unfortunate boy
I know just what you need
Dr. Ray D. Opossum
is your true friend indeed
on Thursday I'll have you for dinner
after we discuss your wife
then you won't never ever need
to fear again for your life
Another excellent call from a caller who sounds so tasty, uh, tasteful!
We have time for one more call. Caller from, hmmm, looks like he's just outside the station, you're on the air.
Hey Dr. Ray D. Opossum
Harry Lupus here tonight
I'm feeling quite hungry
and I wanna grab a BITE
Er, excuse me there caller. It looks like we've run out of time.
Patty, why'd you let him on the show? Edible Animals Only! Oh, is this mic still on? Oh god. Is the door locked?
Ok well that's our show for today. This is Dr. Ray D. Opossum signing off! Bon appetit!
Patty, RUN!
(c) copyright 2022 Ray D. Opossum
https://radiopossum.com/2022-FAWM/RayDOpossum-HeyDrRayDOpossum.mp3
@jeustan Mar 2022
I feel pretty silly having missed the radio pun until now, hahaha. Run, Ray, run!
Great stuff, Doc!
@cleanshoes Mar 2022
I'm so glad you escaped with your life after that scare! Hope you still got to have those callers over for a meal and that you were able to help them with their problems. You're such a thoughtful opossum.
@timfatchen Mar 2022
So glad that (a) I live in Australia where the possums are cute if scratchy and not at all omnivorous (b) @frogspawn hasn't been awake long enough to know of this to add to his paranoia over antifreeze in the pondwater. Though i must admit, you do have the final word in solutions for, um, most of your woodland, um, friends.
@katestantonsings Feb 2022
Haha those lines “What an awesome call. And such a flavorful caller, er, I mean, thoughtful caller!” Too good, Opossum!! Good laughs—thank you for this. Google ‘opossum coffee mugs’ now. I gifted you back! Lol moar please!
@whispermouse Feb 2022
Brilliant.
@sw1n3flu Feb 2022
Hi Ray! This song sure makes me hungry….!
@fuzzy Feb 2022
Now I'm imagining you with a full-on radio station hidden under someone's porch.
Genius.
@bradbrubaker Feb 2022
Dark humor for the win.
@kenmattsson Feb 2022
OMG. So good! I love hearing all of the opossum adventures!
@gindark Feb 2022
Yes, your signature great humour and the music was just as perfect as always.
@mariekevinkmusic Feb 2022
What a fun tune. Made me smile first thing in the morning. Always good to wake up with a smile.
@mandolinda Feb 2022
Tasty tune here. Ray D O rules the air waves.
@leka Feb 2022
Excellent show! Hope you are ok.