Feb 2022 french translation
I wrote a song last month that I called "Untitled Jazz Vampire Song" for a while before I renamed it "She's in the details."
The thing is, a French vampire also needs to sing this in an episode a podcast I am collaborating on. So I have been working on a French translation of it. "C'est un Per OK" was actually a practice run at writing a song in French without having to worry about preserving the rhythm of an English version. And I had hoped it would help with this one. I have a lot of learning to do!
This is a work in progress. I haven't recorded it yet because the translation still doesn't have its scansion and rhyme scheme to my satisfaction. And also of course because I have been writing and recording other songs for FAWM this month. *grins*
Apologies to those who have commented on the lyrics.I did a massive revision of them to improve my rhyme scheme.
And UPDATE: I have recorded it now.
NEW Lyrics:
Bbm7 - C7 - |F7- Bbm - | Ab7 -Bbm - | C7 - F7 -
Bbm7 - C7 - |F7- Bbm - | Ab7 -Bbm - | C7 F7 Bbm7 -
Bbm7 C
Elle est dans les détailles
F7 Bbm
La diabla qui tu connais
Ab7 Bbm
Tu te justifies bien, mais
C7 F7
Tu pars après le baiser.
Bbm7 C
Tu ne l’éludes. Elle est
F7 Bbm
Trop rusée pour toi.
Ab7 Bbm
Tu as menti ton serment
C7 F7 Bbm
Tu es à elle toutefois
Chorus
Ebm7(9) Ebm7/Gb
Je te préviens
Gbdim7 Bbm7
que tu reviens
Bbm7 F7
Les étoiles s’alignent.
Edim7 Gbdim7
L’amour s’indigne.
Gb7
Tu admires le miroir
F7
La dame est là, ta terreur
Ebm7
Mais, l’avenir, belle-à-voir
F7
Tu languis pour tes chansons.
[Instrumental]
Ta muse te conduis
Tu es lié
Elle murmure <<gloire>>
Ton son préferé.
Tu es sa petite puce
pour la rendre heureuse
Elle t'a enfin donné
que tu veux le plus
Translation:
She's in the details
The devil who you know
You justify yourself well, but
You leave after the kiss.
You do not evade it. She is
Too crafty for you.
You lied your oath
You are hers however
Chorus
I warn you
that you come back
The stars align.
Love is indignant.
You admire the mirror
The lady is there, your terror
But, the future, beautiful to see
You yearn for your songs.
[Instrumental]
Your muse leads you
you are bound
She whispers "glory"
Your favorite sound.
You are her little pet
to make her happy
She finally gave you
what you want the most
@janeg Feb 2022
I didn’t see the lyrics before the revision but this sounds great. Congrats on the French rhymes. I would like to hear more about the podcast.
@quadrivium Feb 2022
Hello @gmcgath , @carleybaer, and @rayboneor!
Thank you all for your comments--they are very helpful! This has been a challenging one because the original song I wrote was in English, and this is a translation so I wanted to keep as much of the feel of the original as possible (rhyme schemes especially and some scansion.) It was easier to write the other French song I have here because it wrote it originally in French--no translation necessary.
@rayboneor Feb 2022
This has a nice flow and rhythm, and I like the sound of it. Especially the line: Elle murmure "gloire"/ ton son préféré. I'm rereading and just now getting where that first line is taking us: She's in the details! Good stuff. Je suis ancien prof de français, mes ces jours-ci j'ai rarement l'occasion de parler français :)
@carleybaer Feb 2022
I try to do at least one song in French every FAWM and wrestling with the rhyme is always the main event for me. It’s a great way to expand vocabulary and idiomatic expression though, so I keep doing it. Can’t wait to hear what this sounds like in its final form!
@gmcgath Feb 2022
Languages are fun! Do you know the French filker Gavran? He might have some thoughts to offer.
"L’avenir n’est jamais plu clair." Is that supposed to be "plus clair"? I think you wrote "The future has never clearly rained." But as I said before, my French is way out of practice.