My first skirmish. As english isnt my mother tongue it takes me long to find a woording that makes sense... (google translator in coauthor.)
My nerdy mate Sundari 16.2.‘22
1. She has a thin silhouette but is not a model character.
she s not good at fashion, her clothing is a medium disaster.
She didn't get behaviour instructions for society
She bundeled all her actions - only necessities.
But one thing she knows much better than we all:
Her smartfon is the world and she knows how to go.
Ref: She makes „click click click“, seconds later she knows all about it-
She reads quick, so quick and her intellect likes sharpens at it.
Every question, every hour
you can ask and she has the power:
She makes „click click click“, seconds later she knows all about it-
She reads quick, so quick and her intellect likes sharpens at it.
2. Well I thought she don t mind what to eat or to drink
but to find recipes it only takes her an eyeblink
Now you think it takes time to buy all these fine things
but day and night online delivery services brings it.Ref: She makes „click click click“, seconds later she knows all about it-
She reads quick, so quick and her intellect likes sharpens at it.
Every question, every hour
you can ask she has the power:
She makes „click click click“, seconds later she knows all about it-
She reads quick, so quick and her intellect likes sharpens at it.
@liz561 Mar 2022
The refrain is so much fun! Really shows how we are all used to having everything at our fingertips. Nice take on the prompt.
@ajna1960 Feb 2022
Very clever lyric, and the English is almost perfect in reality.
The chorus is amazingly catchy and memorable.
Please let me know if/when it gets put to music :)
@sheslin Feb 2022
I don't speak or write well in any other languages - so hats off to you! Your first stanza is especially cool with interesting contrasts like "thin silhouette" makes you think model, then to be followed by "not a model character". You give a lot of details about this character in a very inventive way. It looks like it would be fun rhythmically also. Cool song!
@pearlmanhattan Feb 2022
This is very well done! I wouldn't have guessed you don't speak English well. Your rhymes are solid and your cadence is well formed. Great work!
@p3t3h4rv3y Feb 2022
I love this, the brutal translator programme makes it brilliantly weird. Can I put it to music? I've been looking for something like this to do a Talking Heads kind of pastiche. I think it would be good.
@sheilerk Feb 2022
I really liked your refrain. The click click click gives it a rhythm even without the music. You really describe the subject of the song well, and make her really relatable. Excellent skirmish!
@musicsongwriter Feb 2022
Very interesting descriptive lyrics, I can picture her.
@jwhanberry Feb 2022
You described this interesting person well. I did not imagine that English was not your first language. Good skirmish.
@pianoquest Feb 2022
Fun! I know this person you are describing.
@berni1954 Feb 2022
This was fun. I liked the click, click, clicks and the quick, quick, quicks in the Refrain especially. But the picture you paint of this lass who is a social disaster but is perfectly suited to the tech driven world we are plunging into is spot on. Spitze!
@whispermouse Feb 2022
Doing a skirmish in your non-native language can't be easy - congratulations on getting it done! I like the picture you've painted here, the classic nerdy friend.