Feb 2022 contemporary song traditional feel
I seem to be in a Trad Influenced mood at the moment. As I read Stephen's lyrics for this song this morning, I found myself singing them in my head to a traditional style tune (if it's plagiarised, it was completely unintentional). Let me know if you recognise it.
So I suggested a Collab and here is the result.
I like the idea of such dense lyrics sung to a tune reminiscent of traditional "sing-along with the repeated lines" songs.
Instrument Kala FM TE C Tenor Ukulele (Low G Tuning)
(Gm) She cannot see the silent hands
that (Bb) lock and (F) bar her (Gm) door
Those who string the note along (Dm) just a little more
Dangling (Gm) freedom by her worried face with (Bb) tantalising (Gm) ease
Hung above her head like the (Bb) sword of (F) Damo(Gm)cles
Damo(Eb)cles, Damo(Gm)cles
Hung above her head like the (Bb) sword of (F) Damo(Gm)cles
She lays her hope of home and hearth in other people's hands
Who don't care the first iota for any of her plans
As she reaches for her dreams, they put them on a higher shelf
And she swears to God she'll hang them all, hang them all herself
All herself. All herself
She swears to God she'll hang them, hang them all herself
Her walls bare as her wardrobe, toes undipped in any sand
Her gloves and her watch are discreetly second hand
She tries to save up faster than the years give way to now
But she knows that she'd be hanged ... if she knew how
She knew how, She knew how
She knows that she'd be hanged ... if she knew how
And she holds on to the days where she was interesting to know
When her tale was one of things outside of tragedy and woe
Her friends don't have the energy to reason with her rhyme
So she says that she'll hang out with them some other time
Some other time, Some other time
So she says that she'll hang out with them some other time
And she throws the final breadcrumbs at the end of every week
At a storage locker that she has down in Cannons Creek
There's boxes full of paintings where the whites give way to grey
And she prays to God she'll hang them all hang them all one day
All one day, all one day
She prays to God she'll hang them all, hang them all one day
@n24 Mar 2022
Very folky! This has a lovely traditional feel. Such wonderful and intricate lyrics, I love the sorrowful feel and the details like ‘cannon’s creek.’ I think I he lines like ‘ Her gloves and her watch are discreetly second hand. She tries to save up faster than the years give way to now..’ are inspired and paint a very vivid picture of her struggle. Really beautiful instrument choice for the track too, you’ve managed to get a very characterful sound out of the uke and play it very much with your own style. A really excellent collab both!
@wylddandelyon Mar 2022
The tune works very nicely for these words. There's lots of clever turns of phrase in here. Nice rhymes and lovely use of the polysemy. I'm not sure who you're writing about, though, and the bits of story that are here are so good I want to know that!
I'm very much in support of getting paintings out of a storage locker and onto walls.
#tit4tat
@nancycunning Mar 2022
Wow. This is such a great pairing of music and lyrics. So glad you found each other on this one. Love how the presentation catches so much nuance to that word hang and all the things it can mean. Beautiful wordsmithery.
@jerrypettit Feb 2022
I love "old-fashioned" traditional music--this one is particularly authentic, because you've got the great voice for it. Terrific vocal on this.
Terrific lyrics--great storytelling. Really nice collaboration, you guys!
@rshakesp Feb 2022
Lovely, I’m immediately thrown back to Steeleye Span’s John Barleycorn. Great voice with super intonation and lovely banjo part. Super story to boot.
@stephenwordsmith Feb 2022
Delicious. You tell this modern tale like it's a penguin classic, complete with swashbuckling heroine out to lynch the entire aristocracy, with only the odd anachronism to jolt us back to reality (not that you'd find any fewer young women in this day and age on a similar quest).
Like Helen said, I like the contrast between the fruity uke and the growly vocals. We're dealing with a life that may seem together on the surface but has a fundamentally troubled core.
I also think you bring out the polysemic aspects of the title hook very well. Makes me extra glad I caught the chance to add 'hang' there with the sword of Damocles (it was originally 'held' until I posted the song and saw a missed opportunity).
Thank you very much for bringing this modern tragedy to life!
@kahlo2013 Feb 2022
Kudos on this great collaboration! The marriage of music and lyrics is perfect. Love the images of the final breadcrumbs and the sadness and loneliness that comes through. Really well-written and performed.
@metalfoot Feb 2022
Great lyrics, great music. Two thumbs up. :)
@mikeb Feb 2022
This is great, could be played as is at a Renn Festival (maybe changing 'watch' and 'storage locker')! The repetitions at the end of each verse are a great traditional touch.
@billwhite51 Feb 2022
nernie is a master of the contemporary reinvention of tradial balladry, and i dont thing stephen has ever written a misplaced word. there are some excellent modifiers here, for ecample..... tantalising ease, discreetly second-hand,
@helenseviltwin Feb 2022
This is great. I love the timbre of the ukulele against your deep voice. Having recently purchased a tenor ukulele, I think I'll purchase a low G for it because I love this sound! (I expect the talent of the player is more to do with the low string, but was thinking of it anyway).
Love the story telling in the lyrics - a sombre tale that is well served by the music. I'll admit the chorus melody is mildly familiar, but I think a lot of folk tunes are reminiscent of each other and I don't think it's plagiarised; just stylistically similar to many folk songs I've played.
@moonraccoon Feb 2022
Don't sweat copying a traditional melody or form. Stephen's words are amazing, and you brought genuine beauty to them. I especially admire when a songwriter zeroes in on a bit of lyric—here, it's each stanza's last line—and plays with it using repetition that the lyricist didn't envision. Well done.
@timfatchen Feb 2022
I'm glad these lyrics were picked up and done justice. Commented on lyrics in the original listing. This is a serious trad dark song (of course) and the melody and backing fit elegantly. Good stuff! (we seem to be circling. Just the way things happen!)
[EDIT: no I don't recognise the tune. Like so many trad melodies, I think it's its own--ie original to you--but so in keeping that there'd be grave difficulty in placing it in time, space or authorship without your personal stamp on it]