I had a bit of an unexpected flirt in a bar with an Irishman recently when I was rather fresh out of a separation, and realised that rejection still stings even when you weren't actually seeking anything. This song isn't just about that though. It's asking the question - if you're forever at the mercy of other people's judgements, will you ever be able to live your own life?
There is one piano note slip in the instrumental break, and I couldn't be bothered to do another take for the sake of one note.
I didn’t come here to get caught
It doesn’t matter if he thought
I am someone he don’t want
So why does it hurt like this?
He had a killer laugh and smile
And an Irish twang I liked
But he was nothing special, right?
So why does it hurt like this?
I’m gonna make my way home
The scent of cigarette smoke
And I know my place
Because I’ve spent so long
Being at his mercy
I’ve always given up my land
A surrender to his hand
But here there is no battleground
So why does it hurt like this?
I enjoyed him giving me
His attention and his company
But then I watched him quickly leave
Oh, why does it hurt like this?
I’m gonna make my way home
The scent of cigarette smoke
And I know my place
Because I’ve spent so long
Being at his mercy
I didn’t come here to get caught
It didn’t matter what he thought of me
But I took a hit damn hard
And now it hurts
Maybe this is my punishment
Maybe this is the boot on the other foot
If it is, please make it stop
‘Cause god, it hurts
I’m gonna make my way home
The scent of cigarette smoke
And I know my place
Because I’ve spent so long
Being at his mercy
And I’m gonna make my way home
Thinking about what I did wrong
I’ll never help myself move on
Being at his mercy
@berni1954 Apr 2022
If Liz ( @kahlo2013) is the maestra of the "after break up" song, you are the master of the "didn't even get that far" song. You really communicate that feeling of rejection that sears into your soul.
@beacon Mar 2022
Wow, this is awesome! Love the writing and your delivery. So honest. I just discovered you through the Recommendation Thread. Hope you do a lot more songs in the future! I'll be following you for next year!
@audrey Mar 2022
Beautiful song! Wow! Gorgeous melody and piano playing. Love your voice too. So glad I found you on the Recommendation thread in the forums.
@jayjay Feb 2022
You are a very accomplished singer/songwriter. Love this. Sweet and soulful.