Feb 2022
Demo in progress. Feel it could use some piano fills to jawn it up
The world’s a beautiful place
And it’s got plenty of space for me
I could travel all around and take it all in from sea to shining sea
I could paint its picture, I could sing its song
I could treat it right, or I could right its wrongs
But is it a life well lived if no one loves me?
I’ve seen the prettiest sunsets
I met a bald eagle and a mountain lion
Been on top of a canyon, at the bottom of a sea so pretty it caught me crying
I’ve solved some puzzles, I’ve built some tables
I’ve petted some sheep and I’ve mended some cables
If I told you I was proud to do it alone I was lying
So how do I fill this empty feeling?
I can close my eyes and focus on breathing
But how do I pretend that I don’t care
I know I shouldn’t need affirmation
From a world that offers no consolation
But wherever I am it feels like I’m not there
I’m sorry that I feel sorry for myself
I know I should just set it aside
Put it on the shelf and hide it where no one finds it
But I also know my heart’s an open book
It’s not a secret worth a second look
It’s not like there’s some revelation behind it
I’ll jump right in and join the dance
I’ll try and give you a smile
I’ll keep on trying and plow right on at least for a little while
I’m a lonesome poet I’m a one-man band
Searching for angels to come and take my hand
And guide me along through my last miles
So how do I fill this empty feeling?
I can close my eyes and focus on breathing
But how do I pretend that I don’t care
I know I shouldn’t need affirmation
From a world that offers no consolation
But wherever I am it feels like I’m not there
I can make myself a little fire
I can feel the forest breeze
I can lay myself down right on the ground and watch the moonlight through the trees
I may be all alone, may not have a home
May be tired of rambling, may not care to roam
There’s a pretty fine line between aimless and free
@phantom Feb 2022
I'm gonna change "I've seen the prettiest sunsets" to "I've seen some glorious sunsets", since I used "pretty" again later in the same verse
@ohleeoh Feb 2022
As usual, great job my friend.
@phantom Feb 2022
thanks @ohleeoh yes, just posted a demo
thanks @rayboneor I appreciate the encouragement!
@ohleeoh Feb 2022
And you are going to put this to music, right? Great narrative.
@rayboneor Feb 2022
This just keeps gaining density, making me feel something for sure. I guess it hits become I'm a one-man band myself, though I'm scarcely a musician at all. Anyway, this is very vivid. You paint such a beautiful picture...and then you place the narrator alone amidst it. Great idea. Great execution