Feb 2022 electric blues folk fingerstyle hybrid-guitar
Well, the demo's a bit of a hot mess, and according to my Monday night songwriting group which just met, it could use a third verse, or a bridge, or both. I had another verse in between these two, but it didn't seem up to these ones, so I just pulled it out, and here we are. Plus I like the idea of doing more with less, if possible.
And in general, this is more work than I almost ever put into FAWM demos, and it's super fun, but it sure is slower this way.
The Hyrid 7-string again, plus some overdubbed delay business with my trusty '98 Mexican Telecaster.
the dawn steals in
from the edge of town
Start your engine, floor it
Till the sun goes down
Round the corner, round the back
Round and round the cold hard facts
True believer, infidel
It all goes tumbling down into the bottomless well
Down into the bottomless well
Waxing moon
slowly parts the clouds
And sheds a light on every
field you’ve left unplowed
cloak of ashes, crown of weeds
All your harvest gone to seed
Fabergé or fractured shell
It all goes tumbling down into the bottomless well
Down into the bottomless well
@crutherford Mar 2022
i'm into minimalism... i don't think it needs anything else. great dustbowl vibe here.
my fav lines are
cloak of ashes, crown of weeds
All your harvest gone to seed
Fabergé or fractured shell
lovely and loose.. bottomless.. i dig it.
@fearlessflight2014 Mar 2022
Me - I love a good bridge but I also love these kinda songs which I think of as mood songs. The type of song where you can just let your empathy loose and flow with the melancholy or the joy wherever the song takes you without it having to deliver that ‘one-two’ punch of some epiphany or other that’s invariably been said before. Your poetry is sublime and sonically I could listen to this forever. I think it’s funny that I’m listening to this now and when it was written could possibly be similar to the time I came up with that bass riff I sent you which is remarkably similar in harmonic structure. I love that kinda synchronicity! Weird and lovely. :)
@ofishell Feb 2022
If this is a hot mess, then it's time for me to give up entirely. Seriously, so damned good. I can't even.
As stated by others, I think this is fantastic as it is...that said, I hardly ever write bridges, so I don't miss them when they're not there. And, your incredible instrumentals throughout more than make up for any third verse.
@majordanby Feb 2022
You create such a sweet mood in your songs, and this certainly has that. Your guitar playing and vocal style work perfectly together.
@cblack Feb 2022
I like this. It's nice and slow, but has so much to say. So many moods in this. Well done!
@nancyrost Feb 2022
I don't know what was in that middle verse, but these two seem like perfect bookends to let the instruments do the talking and let the depth of those verses sink in. Great sound and emotion here.
@resonut123 Feb 2022
Nice dark edgy feel to this.
Your hybrid playing sounds Great as does the cool ambient sounding guitar. Nice gritty lyric and vocal delivery too.
@bethdesombre Feb 2022
Love the feeling of it -- and the opening line is really compelling. I also love the "Round the corner, round the back/Round and round the cold hard facts" before you get to the bottomless well. There are such great images here (and you do great things with the sound of the woes too). "Fabergé or fractured shell" -- yes! I agree that losing a weaker verse is a good call, and also that this might want something bridge-y.
@leepat Feb 2022
atmospheric and mysterious. i'm picturing deserts or at least flatlands. didn't think the engine was anything else but a Mustang until the second verse, which I particularly like.
dunno, some fleshing out could help us more connections between faith, Fabergé and the bottomless well.
or not.
@pabrizzer Feb 2022
as good as any music i've purchased or viewed on media or paid to see live - anywhere ever - just top notch
what are you doing here?
why would you listen to anyone about song writing? you'll end up carrying your donkey to market
@davidtaro Feb 2022
That simple bass line feels so fundamental, holds the rest of the song on its shoulders! Can imagine Tom Waits doing this one. I love the subtle interweaving of that echoey, reverse guitar texture, really adds interest to those pauses between each refrain. Would love to know how you’re getting that sound, I have no clue where you’d start :D
(I kind of agree with your songwriting group, in that a really short bridge, maybe before the instrumental coda, would have been welcome, but not a deal breaker).
@richaaaay Feb 2022
Amazing how simple the production sounds in terms of number of tracks yet there is so much depth to this. The tambourine & shaker, sparse drumming, then that seven string guitar, which just sounds so cool. The second guitar track just sits in the mix so well too. More with less works here for me, particularly when the music is so interesting on it's own.
@standup Feb 2022
I totally think you could have a finished song here. These are not short verses. A third would really make it a long song. And the vibe is very solid. So a bridge, maybe, maybe?? But the way it sounds to me this song has a certain focus, and a bridge might be unnecessary.
There is a difference between the two verses, the first is very personal, the second a bit more abstract. Maybe, if you're still working on it, focus on the personal for the whole thing?
But I'm dubious about it needing another verse or bridge. Maybe, but maybe not.