Originally I was just going to write it like a "Oh dang, you so pretty but you're an awful person" kinda song. But then this happened. And the people rejoiced.
Happy Valentime's Day ye swabs
Not Ugly
c2022 Abud Music
[INTRO VERSE]
C#m7b5 Cmaj7 B+7 Am7 G/B Cmaj7 D7 D#dim7 Em7 Fmaj7 Bm7/F# Am7/E D9sus/E
I didn't know what love was until I met you
Then I learned what love is and found out that that wasn't it at all, and that I'd made a terrible mistake.
I thought I had to give you all my space
I guess I thought I had some time to waste
Cause when I looked into your face.
[CHORUS]
Gmaj7 Am7 Bm7 Cmaj7 Gmaj7 Am7 Bbmaj7 Am7
You weren't ugly on the outside
You weren't ugly on the outside
but finding out the truth was only a matter of time
Different story on the inside...
I shoulda noticed when the wildlife around you died as you passed by.
[POST CHORUS]
Gmaj7 Am7 Bm7 Am7
Birds were falling from the sky, babe.
...steaming patches of dead grass everywhere you stepped.
I put my hand into your sucker-covered tentacle.
I shoulda put a ring of salt around a pentacle, and trapped you inside
but the goat died, and it's blood dried, so I couldn't bind your soul to this mortal coil...
...babe...
[VERSE]
I didn't know what love was until I met you. Now I know what love is and how there's less of it in the world
Every day that you still walk this Earth.
You remove it all a little at a time
your musty heart is pumping bile and slime
against the multiverse your life is a crime
[CHORUS]
But you're not ugly on the outside
so you can indulge in all your skinless, blood-soaked desires
different story on the inside.
When I look into your eyes a part of me is permanently unmade from every timeline.
[POST CHORUS]
Cm7 F7 G F7 E7 Am7 D+7 C#m7b5 B7 Em
And I know it's all my fault you're gone, at least that that's what you would say.
But you're not ugly on the outside,
and it'll take more than a stake through the heart to slay you.
[VERSE]
I didn't know what love was before I met you
So I guess I should thank you for giving me a frighteningly clear idea
of what this really isn't s'posed to be.
Honestly a lover should be kinda nice
I shouldn't have to feed you buckets of mice.
I don't needja to be sugar and spice but
[CHORUS/ENDING JAM]
If you're not ugly on the outside
I hope you're matching on the inside
You're not ugly on the outside
who am I kidding? I'd still take you for a ride, let's go.
@tukayandryan Feb 2022
Your lyrics are A class. Wonderfully dark humour. All your songs are a magical journey through a musical landscape of awesomeness.
@oaksnprairie Feb 2022
Deliciously dark lyrics. I initially read the lyric as “the wildfire around you died” which also would be pretty dire. If this has any basis in truth, that sucker-covered tentacle seems right on.
@tseaver Feb 2022
Fun, acid-soaked write. Among many gems, "I shouldn't have to feed you buckets of mice" zings hardest to my ears. The conclusion is all too apt.
@evandiem Feb 2022
I like the ambiguity here. My literal brain makes me want to believe this is about an actual eldritch horror that takes attractive human form. But it could just be a really exaggerated take on someone who really sucked in a relationship.
"When I look into your eyes a part of me is permanently unmade from every timeline." is an incredible lyric. One of the hardest parts of making a humorous song work is to be able to catch someone by surprise and that really did it for me.
@leakyplusme2 Feb 2022
This is really good and the Post Chorus idea was great i had never seen that before but it works very well and the lyrics tickled my funny bone in places.