Ok for the right to reply challenge I took Neil Young's Old Man, a favorite of mine. I remember Neil talking about the guy he wrote it about, a guy who was looking at this scruffy kid wondering how he had the cash to buy up some classic old car. I picture an old man today talking to a 24 year old kid and not being all that impressed. Old guys can be cranky. It's not kumbayah. I hope folks sort of understand the old guy's attitude even if he's a grump.
Young Man
Young man take a look at your life
You are not like I was
Young man take a look at your life
You are not like I was
Young man take a look at your life
24
And you're such a bore
Live at home play on your phone
Wouldn't want to be you
Bit coin pensions purloined
I'm working flipping burgers
In a freezin Des Moines
Ain't no union here to join
So it's all up to me
Young man take a look at your life
That damn KoolAid's all you drink
I been through heart ache n war
I don't care what you fools think
Worrying about your tiktoks
While the world is on the brink
Buttercup drink it all up
Burn it down all over town
Listening to you guys
Makes me wanna go and have a drink
The good we did it won't last
Tearin down imperfect past
Optimism fadin fast and
It's all account of you
Young man take a look at your life
I'm not much like you
You just need some internet bars
the whole day through
Ah, just one or two likes
and that's enough for you
Young man look at my life,
soon you're old like me.
Young man look at your life,
I hope you're truly happy.
@paulharrison Feb 2022
Well done. An interesting way to write and some good observations! It certainly works with the music of the Neil's song. I've been in songwriting classes where the suggested next step would be to put the lyrics to different music and see how that plays out. Just an idea....
@emkaydeebee Feb 2022
Brilliant! Love what you’ve done here - it works so well.