(I'm a little slow in getting this one up there. I bet there are a bunch songs on this subject this FAWM.)
Sense: it makes none of that, perhaps in keeping with the absolutely ridiculous fact that we have such incompetent, illiterate, conspiracy theory-pushing people in government. I can only laugh and vote.
911 Tomato (The Gazpacho Police) by Jessica Graae 2/13/22
She dialed 911 Tomato, the Gazpacho Police.
She thought she saw a radar, in her lettuce leaves.
Before she knew it, she was under arrest.
For stashing cucumbers under her vest.
And hiding ballots inside her shallots.
They (stuffed her and) drove her away in a pepper,
Those slippery Gazpacho police.
Only 30 minutes they kept her,
Before she started to sneeze.
A battalion of sweet organic scallions,
And lime juice to keep it all fresh.
A culinary assault that was spicy
On literacy which is dicey at best.
The situation is quite radicchio.
Malapropisms and ignorance reign.
Please vote wisely, I beseech you.
We can’t have more of the same.
Ok, I’ll Gestapo now.
@cubizm Feb 2022
This is hilarious. Loved listening to it. Loved the line "This is quite radicchio. Laugh and vote, that's it. Glad you are laughing and having fun.
@timlaborie Feb 2022
Fun! Perfect response to all this madness! VOTE EVERYONE!
@crisp1 Feb 2022
Ha ha, Jessica! I posted a lyric, which is supposed to be turned into a song soon, with the title Gazpacho Police. But mine was just a hit job on the politician who said it. Yours is much funnier!
@timfatchen Feb 2022
I'm glad to say, our politics down here, while on the nose, at least isn't quite as frightening the other side of the Pacific. Though ignorance is winning here too. Good puns and imagery in this but that last line is both very very funny and very very frightening....
@sw1n3flu Feb 2022
Hahah I’m cry. That was hilarious!
@mikeb Feb 2022
Fun (and unusual) internal and end-line rhymes, with a true message of intelligence, but ending tongue-in-cheek!
@blindkiwi Feb 2022
OK, have to admit
1) The cucumber line made me laugh out loud (it's a spinal tap thing)
2) I had to google the reference (OMFG did she really say that)
3 This brilliant and very funny and sad all at the same time.
@tamsnumber4 Feb 2022
The situation is quite radicchio.
So funny, yet sad. Love how you went through the recipe and came up with such a clever lyric. Very smart and yet....still sad.... Great to hear you again!!
@sherrycanary Feb 2022
Jessica...this is hilarious
Very clever lyrics
Especially like the problem is quite radicchio
And the ending cracked me up
She feeds us such great material :-)
@tseaver Feb 2022
Fun write, and a great take on Ms. Malaprop.
@hoppiern Feb 2022
Oh these lyrics are gold!! So clever and the “dicey” and “radicchio” made me laugh! I love the little “flamenco” flourishes on the guitar too (that’s probably not what they are but they reminded me of that). So fun!!!
@feb21sundari Feb 2022
Great text, unfortunately I don't understand the subtleties, but I like the use of vegetables. The sentence about the Gestapo comes as a surprise...
@the3queens Feb 2022
I started laughing at the title before I even heard a note! So witty
@metalfoot Feb 2022
That is a splendid chord progression! And yeah, the political inanity is everywhere these days...