I’m sick, my throat is fecked so I’ve just been laying in bed with my headphones on making this umm, ambient piece. Let’s file it under ‘whatcha doin there Julie?’.
It is inexplicably nspired by a singing lesson I went to last Sunday. I was thinking LETS BRUSH THIS THING UP AND GO SEE A TUTOR WHO CAN MAYBE HELP ME IMPROVE YAH, THAT CAN ONLY BE A GOOD IDEA RIGHT.
Well how wrong one person can be. It was for realz one of the weirdest days of my life, bat shit FUCKING crazy. It was meant to be an hour but two and half hours in, I was still trapped in this woman’s lounge as she pointed out the various fairies on her wallpaper to me.
At one point, she made me sing along to Beyoncé’s halo in its entirety.. You may not know so LET ME ASSURE YOU that I am in no way qualified to sing along with Beyoncé to halo. In a way I wish it had been recorded so you could hear the pitchiness. She just sat on the sofa holding a stuffed octopus (don’t ask) as I ravaged my way through the song. When it finally came to an end and I was allowed to stop, I felt I had to make some comment to acknowledge the car crash that had just occurred so I just said ‘ooh that’s a tough one to sing’ and her response was ‘yes, I think that’s for advanced singers maybe’ and took the CD out.. NO NOTES ABOUT MY SINGING OR HOW TO IMPROVE?! Then she said to sing along and play guitar with the Beatles to Octopuses Garden, which I proceeded to do and midway through she got her phone out and filmed a stuffed octopus dancing on the sofa while I played. HELLOOOOOOO??? Like am I high here??
This shit actually happened dog.
At one bit she ushered me to her back window to point out all the beer bottles in next doors garden and told me how uneducated ‘everybody’ is around her.
So yeah, I learned fuck all but it sure was entertaining from a social experiment kind of way I guess. Just whenever I think of it I cannot BELIEVE i paid 25 quid for that!?
Anyway, this song is incoherent bollocks but so was my lesson so I’m fecking uploading it anyway.
Oh, and the efg’s are from the actual lesson cos she filmed that part too and uploaded it to Facebook.
EFG
EFG
EFG
SHE HASNT MOVED FOR DAYS
@susyblue Feb 2022
Hehehe this sounds like it was very cathartic! That sound fckn ridiculous but hey we all benefitted from the story - hilarious!! On behalf of music teachers can I apologise??? (that is fckn WACCCKK)
@sw1n3flu Feb 2022
I've listened several times over several days. And haven't posted, no idea why not.
This is kinda disturbing. Like in a Freddie Krueger kinda of way.
btw your story is amazing, but you already new that.
@shortdan Feb 2022
Haha, easily my favourite liner notes of 2021 so far! This is actually really quite unsettling and cool. Those drums make me feel like something terrible is about to happen. Yikes!
@williamjames Feb 2022
What a psychedelic story ion the liner notes! and what a trip as a musical piece too! It was cool reading through the notes with the song going in the background, it matches up quite well actually. Fun experience!
@guatecoop Feb 2022
I just love your liner notes…it reads like a scene out of a movie or something—and you lived it! There is such a great simmering energy here. I’m not sure what it is either but I like it—the energy and mood is almost tangible. Really cool!
@vainhirvain Feb 2022
HAHAHAAH laughing out loud! The music makes perfect background for this story (and lasts just about as long as it takes to read it) :D
@balancelost Feb 2022
lol. What a story. I feel like this successfully captures the feeling of sitting inside your head thinking "wtf is happening and when will she do something useful". Or on the other hand maybe even I could trick people into giving me £25 for singing lessons and then upload the shit bits to Facepage. 2 and a half hours tho, that's commitment.
@iwilleatyou Feb 2022
To hell with the song I want more liner notes!!!!
@jorh Feb 2022
What's her name and where do I pay my £25?! Sounds like an absolute ride, and surely worth every penny. I'm gonna come armed with squid rings for us both to eat, whilst she plays with her octopus, and I sing the shit outta beyonce.
Also very much enjoying the creepy, pressure cooker instrumental. Now I think you need to freestyle 'halo' over it to bring it full circle ;)
@sailingmagpie Feb 2022
Was your singing lesson written by Chris Morris?? At least you got this track from it. I would describe it as the "Soundtrack to a nightmare," so not dissimilar to your lesson.
@karlsburg25 Feb 2022
OMG how did i not get to hear about the singing story. That is beyond hilarious but also fecking weird as shit. And there i am building up anxiety with all my students wondering if i'm providing them with the right stuff and there's a woman dancing with octopus's!!!!! Was this in Chesy??? anyway the song.basically describes to me the feelings going through your body for those 2 and a half hourse ;-) I bet you were feeling a bit drum beat scared ya?? Maybe you need to go into film music. Top top atmospheric ditty lovely.
@thesoundof Feb 2022
I love how weird and unexpected this song is. :)
I wish you speedy recovery!
@fuzzy Feb 2022
I really appreciate a good set of Liner Notes, and so far you have won this February.
That relentless drumming is making me nervous.
Such a great track here for sure.
Creepy voices in the background.
Yes, very well done.
@melaniepegge Feb 2022
Oh my word I enjoyed reading your liner notes for this. Made me proper laugh. The story and song are both a bit nuts. Sounds like you needed to get that out of your system. I enjoyed listening!
@intoyourlight Feb 2022
Oh my good god…why on earth can someone with a fetish for stuffed octopusses and apparently no teaching skills at all give singing lessons and take money for that????!!‘
Also to sing Halo….wtf?! And I thought my piano teacher was „bad“ as she was sitting on a sofa with her mobile phone and calendar while just saying „now play that little piece on page 24“…oh my….
Hopefully she didn’t freak you out too much so that you can find a GOOD teacher next time.
Well, but I love what you did here! This is some serious ambient craziness. I feel like I can count on you when zombie apocalypse hits. You need people who can handle this then :DDD
@dreamscuba Feb 2022
Excellent weird song worthy of @silvermachine.... and the liner notes are just classic. People would pay good money to see that fly on the wall show... wow.. Thanks for tune!!
@thedutchwidows Feb 2022
Hands down the best liner notes this FAWM. Really enjoyed the music and nice to read the notes with it - adds drama. There's an occasional soft crunchy sound in my left ear that had me look round twice to see what was behind me, before I realised it was the song. mean £25 is good value for the story alone.
@owl Feb 2022
Haha these liner notes had me crying with laughter! I love the tension of that drumbeat and you’ve brought in so many good textures, samples, and glitches, it’s like a weird fever dream (in a good way!)
@adforperu Feb 2022
Haha, if only people knew that was about... 5% of what happened. Ooo, this is pretty intense, all the glitching and the beat stopping makes me feel a bit uneasy and queasy, but in a good way. I can totally imagine latter-day Scott Walker singing over this!
@frenchcricket Feb 2022
Jesus Christ what a terrifying ride those liners were. Also can you tell stories on tiktok or something because you are hilarious. Anyway the song, impressed by it tbh, you’ve not really done much in this sort of audio landscape before afaik and it sounds really wild and psychedelic and trippy. Seriously though the story was a blast.
@nateger Feb 2022
The liner notes took me on a journey. The teacher on her sofa holding a stuffed octopus. I love that image.
Musically this is fucking amazing. Love the power of the drums and the elements. Everything fits together like a fever dream
@atam94 Feb 2022
Just wanted to say the liner notes are absolutely hilarious. Cool track, I enjoyed listening to it while reading that incredible story. Sounds wild, for sure haha
@vomvorton Feb 2022
I feel like it's somewhat inevitable that this actual track will get overshadowed by the greatest liner notes ever written on FAWM, but that would be a shame because it's a really great track! The drums are so insistent and pummeling and the vocal samples are unsettling and hypnotic! Are there subliminal messages here? Something about this track is making me want to book a singing lesson? And meet an octopus?
@colgoo Feb 2022
I meant….reading the lyrics…
@colgoo Feb 2022
Your liner notes on this are the best!!!! Great story! Very much a driving beat to go at the same pace as listening to the instrumental.
@thelowestbitter Feb 2022
Glitchy Julie is a blast, this is great fun but more importantly OMG that liner. This all sounds amazing and I wish I’d been able to experience it but also I’m glad I didn’t. To be fair to her for a 2 1/2 hour lesson for £25 is barely over living wage. I hope you tipped her!