Feb 2022
Who told you
nothing leads to nothing
Somethings got to give
And who are you
to linger round my heart
linger in my bed
This drifting through my life
is getting out of hand
If it's true
please don't make a promise
don't make any plans
Let it breathe
gentle in the morning
tender at the dawn
I always let you sleep
never for too long
Keeping vigil for the one who's gone
Seeking signs of their return
Standing tall against the darkness now
Hold it in until it burns
Who'll prop up the broken soldiers?
Who will count the crass remarks
Adoration meets indifference
Here is where the battle starts
Hold you close
I am sorry
sorry I'm not the one
Don't forget
that I am made of something
something so strong
The doors are closing
they won't close for long
The doors are closing
tender at the dawn
@danielp73 Feb 2022
@radiobenedetto thank you and I appreciate the constructive feedback! I think you're right and I will take that under advisement when I work this song into my repertoire.
@radiobenedetto Feb 2022
Great chord progression. I particular like that augmented 5th you throw in on "You" in the first line and throughout. Definitely creates a mood. The vocal melody slides into the guitar nicely. Has a bit of nick drake feel to it. Great bridge. On the bridge . . . I'd consider starting the vocal right away rather than looping through the progression first. This will tighten the whole song and not spoil the surprise for the vocals. Maybe also pick one lyrical/vocal hook for that outro and shorten it by half. Between the two you should have a nice tight song that leaves everyone wanting more. Really enjoyed this!