This is very late to the party.
I was finishing another song and forgot there were skirmishes this morning (CET)
I wasn't going to do this one, but I liked the theme, so I started at ten-thirty and kept to a strict one hour. The rhyme scheme I was using is an experiment that is well out of my comfort zone, so it took longer than I usually take and there wasn't time to put it to music.
I have an idea for that, but I thought I'd open this up for a collaboration.
Any takers?
If you decide to accept this challenge, please send me a message so I can earmark the song for you
CHORUS
Don't tell me a story, I know it won't be true
Lies upon lies I have heard accrue
Till I don't recognise the person I once knew
What happened to the trust that I once had in you?
V1
Your brother rang this evening to ask me how you were
Talking of an illness that I wasn't aware
You had claimed to have
I said you're getting better, but I felt such a fool
You'd said you were going round there
When you'd finished up at school
Where you just having a laugh?
CHORUS
V2
I wouldn't mind so much if your lies could be believed
But they are as transparent and ill-conceived
As a poor soap opera plot
When you were late again last Friday night
I didn't have the strength to feel aggrieved
No point in starting a fight
I just had to accept "I forgot"
BRIDGE
Is this marriage still alive
Or should we write its epitaph?
How long can this farce go on
And when do we get to laugh?
V3
Was there ever any truth in the things you said
From the time we took our vows on the day we wed
Or has this all been a game?
Do the last five years make any sense
Can we talk of a love that seems to be dead
If all along it was just a pretence?
Should I feel hate or shame?
CHORUS
@marthie Feb 2022
Lovely storytelling in this lyrics.
@emkaydeebee Feb 2022
Ooh this is good! Love how you turned this round!
@tunecat Feb 2022
I like a lot of the lines. I like the conversational tone ( dropping ‘your brother’) love the line regarding soap opera. At first I was t sure it was a wife - liked the fact I was guessing. Wondered if it was a wayward adult child. Great akirmish
@dzdandcunfsd Feb 2022
I especially love
"I wouldn't mind so much if your lies could be believed
But they are as transparent and ill-conceived
As a poor soap opera plot"
I've said very similar things before, if you're going to lie at least make it a good story :D
Let me know if you do get this put to music! I'd give it a go, but already have quite a few things I've commited to. Its the main reasons I don't read a lot of lyric only things as unfair as that is to people who only write lyrics, but I end up wanting to do too many of them.
@wylddandelyon Feb 2022
It's a sad story, and one I've heard too often.
I do like the challenging rhyme scheme! It's cool to see someone play with different patterns of rhyme, and totally understandable that it took a little longer than planned.