Georgia politician Marjorie Taylor Green accused Nancy Pelosi of running a Gazpacho Police yesterday. Pretty sure she meant something else, but out of that gaffe, this song was born.
Also, I'm pretty sure I lifted the melody for the verses from the Whose Line is it Anyway Hoedowns.
The nicest gal you'll ever meet in your entire life
She volunteers for things all over town
She's on the city council, and on the PTA,
and coaches little kids in baseball games
Be aware there’s one faux-pas that she can't abide
You make it wrong and she will tan your hide
Leave it cold, don't heat it up - that's what you should do
She's the self appointed sheriff of cold tomato soup
She's the gazpacho police
She knows when you make it
Don't you dare go put it on the stove
She's the gazpacho police
Don't try to beg and plead
Serve it chilled or you'll be grilled
for such a foolish deed
The Spanish soup's her favorite and you shouldn't mess it up
or things may just go very bad for you
The right way or the wrong way, it really is your pick
but do it wrong and your butt may get kicked
She's the gazpacho police
She knows when you make it
Don't you dare go put it on the stove
She's the gazpacho police
Don't try to beg and plead
Serve it chilled or you'll be grilled
for such a foolish deed
Just stay on her good side, you'll have no worries, friend
she's pleasant as can be most of the time
If you don’t want to twitch, you'll surely get your wish
if you let her be the one to make the dish
She's the gazpacho police
She knows when you make it
Don't you dare go put it on the stove
She's the gazpacho police
Don't try to beg and plead
Serve it chilled or you'll be grilled
for such a foolish deed
@tseaver Feb 2022
What a great take on Ms. Malaprop! Taking it over the top is perfect.
@hazydave Feb 2022
Excellent... I taste tomatoes and a dash of Tom Lehrer!
@elesimo Feb 2022
This is genius, well done!
@cloudhopper Feb 2022
well done!
no-one wants to be hassled by the gazpacho police