I was watching women's Olympic ice hockey the other night, and someone mentioned that the Canadians are the second-most penalized team at the games.
I'm not going to try to record this, but imagine shouty punk vocals and buzzsaw guitars and you'll have the idea.
Canadian hockey! You know it's no joke
The national pastime is something to see
The babies start young and the men go for broke
But the women scare the hell out of me
Oh yeah, they seem nice!
THEY'LL PUT YOU ON ICE!
They're skating you down!
For gold and for glory!
They'll push you around!
Without so much as a sorry!
Canadian women's hockey!
A spectacle of brutality!
Canadian women's hockey!
They don't stand on formality!
(Parlez-vous my FIST in your FACE?)
Two minutes in the penalty box!
Personal best? She'll need twenty more!
Open up when opportunity knocks
Or else it's gonna break down your door!
Check yourself or they'll check you!
If you don't like it then heck you!
Unsportsmanlike conduct!
How far is too far?
You pucked with the wrong puck!
You picked the wrong bar!
Canadian women's hockey!
I could watch it all night! (Right?)
Canadian women's hockey!
I could watch it all day! (Eh?)
Canadian women's hockey!
..Did you *see* that?.. (Oh!)
Canadian women's hockey!
..Can she *do* that?... (OHH!)
High stick, cross check, trip, slash, hook!
Rough 'em up, rough 'em up, chaaaarge! Canucks!
@janeg Feb 2022
Like more Canadians than you might realize, I've never been interested in hockey - and the violence was part of the reason. But I couldn't resist the title and I think the Cdn team members would love this. Needs to be recorded.
@donna Feb 2022
As a Canadian woman, I of course couldn't resist peeking in. :)
Excellent lyric! Good grief, I had no idea women hockey players were like that. (-: Glad to read below that it's not as bad anymore.
Loved the 'Parlez-vous my FIST in your face?' Mon Dieu! LOL
@dudachris Feb 2022
Hockey Night in Canada did a theme song contest years ago and I made an entry... The style would've fit for this. Also, as a Canadian hockey fan I approve. Though seriously, hockey, men's or women's, isn't this violent... anymore. (that is a good thing)
@tuneslayer Feb 2022
LOL I like this and having watched a bunch of Canadian womens' hockey I tend to agree.. I certainly wouldn't want to mess with any of them.
It would be a lot of fun if you could get someone to record this.