From the prompt 'take away'...
Just realised it should really be "takeaway FROM today", dammit! :)
TAKEAWAY FROM TODAY
My head is full of sawdust, all memos and spreadsheets
Had to go two hours longer, now I’m four bars off the beat
There’s a strange kind of silence as my key turns in the lock
And not even the coffee plate needs me to switch it off
I need to choose the mood for tacos, and curry doesn’t appeal
I’ve had my fill of pizza and kebab meat looks too real
Anyway I’d leave all those things wasted on my plate
I’ve had my takeaway from today
The note upon the table beside the wilting flowers
Was scribbled in your copperplate, did you sit there for hours?
I’ve not been fed since breakfast, it might be a thousand years
Oddly I don’t feel hungry for the flavour of these tears
Never thought an enemy would strike me from behind
Everything I should have said, oh no matter never mind
@nancycunning Feb 2022
Oh, this is so sad. Wow. So many lovely details the spreadsheets, the copperplate the coffee plate, the four bars off the beat.
And takeaway food and what's been takenaway...Phew. Fabulous.
@annaharp1 Feb 2022
I like this one too., lovely piano in it
@melaniepegge Feb 2022
Another impressive skirmish song Andy. Only you could write a tear jerker about kebab meat...
@whispermouse Feb 2022
Ah, piano bloke - my new favorite genre!
I'm feeling all the food references, such fertile imagery. "kebab meat looks too real" is slightly upsetting :D
@liz561 Feb 2022
love the chord progression! And the last verse sneaks up on you-awesome! Never thought an enemy would strike me from behind-nice!!
@berni1954 Feb 2022
There is a real Gilbert O'Sullivan feel to this. He wrote some fine piano ballads back then.
Great tangential approach to the prompt. Great how the story emerges from among all the takeaway food images.
My favourite line is:
"not even the coffee plate needs me to switch it off" - if that doesn't let us know how down and feeling useless this narrator is, nothing will. Amazingly rich song for a skirmish.
@porrectus Feb 2022
Laban meat looks to really is my favorite line thus far this year. Really nice write. Well done!
@jwhanberry Feb 2022
A sad story using food as a stand in for the true grief. Good artful storytelling.
"Had to go two hours longer, now I’m four bars of the beat" is my favorite line. Been there!
@thedutchwidows Feb 2022
This has a lovely, melancholy feel to it. Very nice playing and singing and the lyrics are super strong. I love the "kebab meat looks too real " line! Excellent.
@scruffyblues Feb 2022
Yes love this 'apparently' literal and honest approach to the prompt, but with a twist. Beautiful and sad.
@misterdemp Feb 2022
Enjoying this set up! The first verse really pulls me in, and love the piano.
@chrishinch86 Feb 2022
Cracking melodies with the chords here!
I really wanted to go food based but couldn’t quite get anything out! You’ve done a great job with it. Love the lyrics
@zeekle1998 Feb 2022
This has a nice feel and rhythm to it. There’s a real sadness portrayed in the lyrics. Nice work.
@torsten Feb 2022
Haha, very nice story! Well thought out. I like it. And the melody and your voice as well. And you even had the nerve to write a bridge...Great!
@tunecat Feb 2022
Ooh what a lovely description of a lonely return home. Lyrics so tight and chord changes great. Thanks for this.
@prsongsmith Feb 2022
Fantastic writing (and the piano and melody are so well done as well!)!THe imagery is so sharply drawn -- the wilting flowers, coffee plate, keys in locks. And the way you worked in so many sensory bits -- sawdust in the head, silence of the lock, hunger, the taste of tears.
@kevinmason Feb 2022
I love all the takeout imagery in the chorus. For whatever reason I particularly liked the line "There’s a strange kind of silence as my key turns in the lock
And not even the coffee plate needs me to switch it off". It strikes me in a nice way. Very nice lyrics and singing.
@hmstreetteam Feb 2022
A tear-jerker of a bad day, with the menu items in the chorus perfectly illustrating the mood. The piano chords set the right mood at the beginning and throughout,
@keithcuts Feb 2022
cool vibe on this feels reminiscent billy joelish in a nice way
cool visualizations in the lyrics
relatable lyrics to all of us fawmers
nicely done on the skirmish here!