Feb 2022
as is tradition, I always end up with at least one "work" song. This one'll be it.
I *think* this one'll end up filling the "one note melody" challenge once I get the music in (at this point, it's either a sea shanty or driving heavy metal - not sure yet...), but because the work keeps coming, that might be a while....
2/23 update - indeed, this is the one-note tune; adjusted a couple of verses based on comments to keep the political commentary consistent, even in the fantasy realms I close this out with.
<verse one>
[Em]two steps forward, one step back
[A]progress slow, but it's on track
[Em]toward an end that'll never come
but we [A]gotta keep the lights [Em]on
rig the sails, swab the deck
keeping entropy in check
stoke the fire, shovel coal
ship keeps moving, that's the goal
<chorus>
[Em]pile on pile on pile on
the [A]work is never [Em]done
[Em]pile on pile on pile on
but they [A]pay, so I press [Em]on
<verse 2>
assembly lines, they never stop
productivity must not drop
building widgets for the shelves
but can't afford the things ourselves!
customers lined up for miles
take their orders with a smile
make sure the grill and counters gleam
if you can lean, then you can clean!
<chorus>
pile on pile on pile on
the work is never done
pile on pile on pile on
but they pay, so I press on
<verse 3>
the paper trail goes on forever
by any pure objective measure
fund the program, balance sheets
in service of bureaucracy
fantasies they keep things flowing
to keep us paying what we're owing
if it helps the day pass faster
there's little more that we can ask for
<chorus>
pile on pile on pile on
the work is never done
pile on pile on pile on
but they pay, so I press on
<verse 4>
grease the pistons, build the steam
brass and steel, the gears will gleam
keep this automaton in fighting trim
but the hotshot pilot will claim the win
the starship laser batteries glow
the warp drive hums, the plasma flows
Assembly says the smugglers must be stopped
Kleptocrats'll skim right off the top
<chorus>
pile on pile on pile on
the work is never done
pile on pile on pile on
but they pay, so I press on
@wylddandelyon Feb 2022
There's only a couple of places where the rhyme and scansion aren't quite as good as the rest, but they stick out because the rest is so good.
As to the last verses, are really rebels in it just for the pay? I would think that it's more likely stormtroopers who are there just for the pay. But really, I know there's SF stories that fit your theme better, and that would give you a better punch for your ending. Up to you whether that's what you want to do when you polish this song, of course.
@lcad Feb 2022
Solid meter on this, would flow easily to music and fits the work song--you can feel pistons pumping to the lyric.
@cphaurckker Feb 2022
@jayjay thanks for the input, it's appreciated. I'm not set on the verse order, really, and I didn't really catch the social justice angle myself, though yeah, it's definitely there. the sci-fi verse there was building off the second stanza of the third verse when I wrote it. thanks again!
@jayjay Feb 2022
I really like the first three verses and chorus. Tight on the social justice theme. If I’m honest I think the starwarsy verse 4 is inconsistent with the first message though. Great lyricism. Pile on/pylon is clever. Gives the image of constant physical labour and a driving beat. Very nice.