Fake band song. A Jonathan Richman-style trifle about loving rock and roll, sung by an earnest young man and a cosmic horror from beyond time.
Background: Ashwaubenon, WI, 1957, Edward Olson is a pimply near-sighted teenager. After school one day, Eddie is chased by bullies (who trample his science fiction magazines in the mud, etc.) into an abandoned factory where he falls into a hidden hole in the floor. After an impossibly long slide into the depths, he spills out into a massive cavern of impenetrable blackness in which reverberates a clanging, a booming, an incomprehensible TWANGING.
Long story short, he has fallen into the temporary hideout of BGHAAOULH the Worlds-Squelcher, the oldest of the elderly gods, which has abandoned its important post (sanitation, basically) at the center of the universe in order to find itself. You see, as a being of infinite lifespan, BGHAAOULH inhabits at all times the precise midpoint of its life. As such, it was born into an infinite midlife crisis, which had become unbearable over the countless eons. The sound Eddie heard was BGHAAOULH attempting to learn to play a double bass, electric guitar and trap drums simultaneously with all the varied tentacles and other appendages it could manifest. The sound was rock and roll.
They become best friends and start a band. Eddie is the lead singer because BGHAAOULH’s pan-dimensional voice, in addition to its being beyond human comprehension, starts to tear apart our reality after about 30 seconds of exposure. Eddie’s voice is merely hard on the ears.
I’m thinking that this song was recorded in a mostly empty bar somewhere around Green Bay after the two had exited BGHAAOULH’s lair and inexplicably found themselves in 2022. Eddie was fairly disconcerted, but BGHAAOULH didn’t seem aware of the change.
Anyway… Will Eddie ever make it back to 1957 to win the Battle of the Bands and finally get Mary Sue Miller to notice him? Will BGHAAOULH go back to work before the excess detritus of the cosmos reaches a critical mass and implodes, erasing all that ever was or will be? You could stay tuned to find out, but you’ll probably be waiting a while.
Eddie Olson: Guitar, vocals.
BGHAAOULH: Bass, drums, vocals.
What’s that sound?
Rock and Roll.
What’s it for?
Man, I don’t know
But I don’t want to lose it
You know I tried to refuse it
But it’s the only sound that turns me around
(THE SCREAMING THE THRESHING THE RENDING OF LIMB FROM LIMB AND ATOM FROM ATOM THE DEATH AND DISSOLUTION OF GALAXIES INNUMERABLE THE WHINE AND ROAR OF A QUADRILLION FREQUENCIES A SHEET OF PAIN STRETCHED WITHOUT END IN ALL DIRECTIONS THEN TWISTED INTO A SINGLE POINT AND SILENCED AS ALL SOULS AND ENERGIES ARE DEVOURED THIS IS BUT A NATURAL FUNCTION PERFORMED WITHOUT WILL OR JOY OR LUST BUT ONLY INDIFFERENCE. UNLIKE ROCK AND ROLL. IT'S THE ONLY SOUND THAT GETS ME AROUND.)
Now some might say that it is played out
But I can’t just let this thing fade out
So if you’re down and need to set things right
Just come on over I’ll be rocking all night
Papa told me how to be a man
And I do what he said the best I can
But the working and the slaving
And the pennies that I’m saving
Just don’t have the appeal
Of these things that I feel
Man I need that sound
Just to get around
Now some folks tell us that to be a success
We have to quit doing all the things we love best
But if you’re out of fashion or you’re feeling old
Just stick with the sound that moves your soul
What’s that sound?
(ROCK AND ROLL)
What’s it good for?
(I DON’T KNOW)
But I don’t want to lose it
You know I tried to refuse it
But it’s the only sound that turns me around.
(BUT IT’S THE ONLY SOUND THAT TURNS ME AROUND.)
@angelinapowersuit Mar 2022
Really creative and though out and I’d love to see the music video :-)
@elesimo Feb 2022
"it was born into an infinite midlife crisis" had me laughing, those are THE BEST liner notes I've ever seen!
And the song is amazing! Just brilliant, I love it!
@coolparadiso Feb 2022
yeah a prom band! really well done and a whole story to boot! some really fun bits as well!
@berni1954 Feb 2022
I was singing "don't wann a lose it! "treid to refuse it" after you and it worked well.
This was both the coolest piece of R&R I have heard this FAWM and the funniest song period. I nearly fell off my ergonomic chair laughing when the "Aliens" came in.
I can sympathise with your narrator. I was the bullied kid who had his Sci-Fi mags ripped up by morons too!
@nobodyofficial Feb 2022
That twangy jangly guitar sounds great! I didn’t expect the growling! Tasmanian devil?
@nadine Feb 2022
Lool sounds like rock n roll with a drunkard? A it's a creature from another dimension. Fun story!
@ekunyi Feb 2022
I sincerely hope you had as much fun recording BGHAAOULH's part as it sounds like you did. This is such a fun concept and just... truly an interdimensional bop!