So first off, I'm not really a guitarist, but I really wanted to write something on guitar this month to push myself. So as a result it is a little stripped back (and occasionally pitchy). I had to stitch together about 15 takes to make it sound like I can play the guitar for more than 3+ minutes without messing up!
The content itself is I guess about the importance of acknowledging/giving language to speak about difficult things/emotions/traumas.
I'm not sure how happy I am with this one. I had a few different drafts, some were a lot darker, some were a lot lighter. But eventually you just gotta post right?
Lily was bright, the top of her class
She struggled with friends but she made it past
She could play a mean piano but she sang alone
Because if anyone watched her she’d turn to stone
Her parents cared but they were quite reserved
They struggled to express what thought of her
They didn’t really talk went they went through strife
Then Trouble hit Lilly and derailed her life
She didn’t tell the friends that’s she didn’t have
She didn’t know how to tell her Mum and Dad
Locked in her bedroom all day long
And her parents didn’t know how to ask what’s wrong just
Lily, Lily we miss you
Won’t you step outside today?
Lilly we love you greatly
But we don’t know what to say
Lily grew up and she left her school
She scraped her grades but she made it through
Lily hit a road block down the line
No one around her to see the signs
She didn’t tell the friends that she never had
She didn’t know how to tell her Mum and Dad
They’d keep on trying her on the phone
But they didn’t know how to ask what was wrong just
Lily, Lily we miss you
Won’t you step outside today?
Lily we love you greatly
But we don’t know what to say
For two years Lily barely showed her face
So Lily’s Dad headed out to her place
And called to her through the locked front door
But Lily ain’t listening anymore
She didn’t tell the friends that she never had
She didn’t know how to tell her Mum and Dad
She only knew that she didn’t quite belong
But she didn’t know how to tell them what was wrong just
Mother, father I love you
I won’t be stepping out today
I know that you love me greatly
But I don’t know what to say
@berni1954 Mar 2022
Tragic portrait of a very believable situation. This line is one to die for:
"She didn’t tell the friends that’s she didn’t have"
I have just heard that a friend who was full of life and fun committed suicide. His friends and fans are left as speechless as Lily's parents.
@sheslin Mar 2022
Love the electric guitar! I like the fast paced lyrics and interesting melody over the jazzy chords. Great, memorable chorus. Lily is a super singable name - it sounds great in your vocals. You handled this topic with great sensitivity and insight. Sometimes it is so hard to share and withdrawing just feels easier even though it almost always makes things worse. I also really like your melodic choices and the song came together beautifully!
@coolparadiso Feb 2022
Tit4tat Very Nice lyric and they flow out well. cool clean chords! A good song all round. Don't make any difference how many takes. We just hear whats in front of us and its good
@greengrassgirl Feb 2022
Very moving. You certainly have a way with words! And you're way too modest about your abilities to put a good song together. This sounds just right!
@gm7 Feb 2022
Wow I love that jazzy bouncing chord changes. The melody is very catchy and the line The 'Lily we miss you... won't you step outside today' just sticks in your head. let's not forget that solid vocal performance along with stops and pauses which creations room for the words to shine. Wonderful!
As for the multiple takes and comping.....I am guilty also :-0
IMO you are a guitarist!..so starting writing more I will listen ;-)
@brisk Feb 2022
This is fantastic. I love your apologetic "this was 15 takes" - mate, I wouldn't have made it sound that clean in 500. It's a beautifully told story, and it sounds great. There's a disjunction between the smooth, jazzy feel and the rather depressing story, and that works really well. and I want to single out the chorus as well - it is a lovely piece of work; simple and memorable. A bit of a deep cut, but the song overall reminds me of 90s also rans Honeycrack (who I greatly admire) - I can't really put my finger on why. I think it's the storytelling, and also the strong melody stuff. Anyway, who cares, this is great, consider yourself watched.
@richaaaay Feb 2022
Fantastic story telling. Kinda tragic that things like this happen. Musically this was wonderful. The Lily, Lily we miss refrain is sweet. And your guitar playing is better than you might think. The melody lines you played were perfectly precise and fitting. No need for anything else here. Your guitar playing communicated well.
@katestantonsings Feb 2022
So many levels of WOW. I’m speechless. Good songwriting runs in your family, my goodness. Most girls like Lily feel invisible. Meaningful!
@cabinmonster Feb 2022
This is just gorgeous and honestly gave me goosebumps. I had a feeling where this might be going, and it's a delicate topic but your lyrics handled it so gently and lightly, still getting the message across but, I don't know how to describe what I mean, but in ending it how it did you kept Lily's dignity intact - we didn't need any gory detail. And the bit of ambiguity left it up to the listener what they wanted to believe. I reckon that is a mighty achievement!!
@jayjay Feb 2022
Beautiful, poignant storytelling.
@davidtaro Feb 2022
Another classy number! It's a bit of an olde ballad in a way, and those always end well don't they... having said that, I do wonder what some of those darker drafts might have gone like. This one is pretty bleak, but with an ambiguity in the ending which I really like. The 'Lily we miss you... won't you step outside today' is melodically gorgeous, even better with the close harmonies (you do those amazingly well). And the guitar playing sounds just fine to me. In fact those melody-led solos are exactly what's needed in the circumstances. There are so many technically amazing guitarists who wouldn't have your facility with melody and would consequently destroy the song with something flashy. Well done, Nate!
@sbs2018 Feb 2022
I so love this! Bopping my head to the fun-ness of the rhythm/vocals
@calumcarlyle Feb 2022
Very good. It really doesn't sound like somebody who can't play the guitar. I think it's a keeper, for sure.
@shallowcarrot Feb 2022
Amazing structure and storytelling. And you seem to be doing fairly well on guitar :)