Feb 2022 movie title challenge contemporary folk tale fuc
My response to the Movie Title Challenge. I was given "Gretel & Hansel" which I didn't even know existed (and from the trailer looks truly absurd). So I turned for inspiration to the original story and came up with this long, but I hope enthralling tale.
PS My Guitarlele gets an outing on this one.
(Em) She was starting in the company
(D) A little nervous too
It was (Am) going to be a challenge
But she (Em) thought that she'd pull through
Her (C) co-workers were friendly
But her (G) boss seemed to be aloof
But she (D) wasn't unduly worried
'Cos she (C) thought her(D)self flame (Em) proof
He was intrigued by this new intern
She seemed bright and pretty too
He knew that shouldn't affect him
But when you're a guy what can you do?
He gave her tasks to test her
And she aced on every one
He tried to show his interest
But she was so slow to catch on
One day they rode the lift together
But it ground to a sudden halt
While they waited patiently
He began his subtle assault
"I don't know your first name" he said
Now fully on his mettle
She smiled and said: "I don't know yours;
But my parents called me Gretel"
He laughed aloud, she started back
"Sorry! How circumstantial,
You see my folks insisted
That my name should be Hansel"
They took it as auspicious
They were bound to be a couple
Before the workman got them out
They'd already had a snuggle
They both had a love of rambling
Upon some forest track
Many times they walked the hills
With knapsacks on their back
Until one winter morning
The ground all white with frost
In the middle of a forest
They found that they were lost
They couldn't get a signal
To use their Google Maps
But they saw smoke in the distance
"They could help!" He said, "Perhaps..."
They came upon a cottage
With a comely lass at the door
Gretel instantly disliked her
She was dressed like a cheap whore
Gretel saw those eyes upon him,
Thought: "I better watch this bitch
With hips and boobs like hers
My Hansel she'll bewitch!"
Hansel seemed oblivious
To their hosts obvious charms
But part of his anatomy
Imagined her in his arms
"You better stay!" the lass declared
"There's a huge storm on its way"
Hansel agreed to hang around
To Gretel's sheer dismay
As the tempest did its worse
And thundered high above
The lass swiftly turned to Hansel
And said: "We should make love!"
Gretel gasped as Hansel
Began to get undressed
She looked round for a weapon
To get rid of this pest
But to her shock and horror
The witch nodded with her head
And made it clear to Gretel
She wanted her too in the bed
Hansel Gretel and Brenda
Set up a ménage a trois
Gretel realised her morals
Had been far too Bourgeois
She'd placed too much importance
On the coincidence of their names
Now she happily joins with Brenda
In their threesome's bedroom games
The moral of this story
If moral there should be
Is don't give superstitions
Too much credibility
And don't let social norms
Dictate what you can do
Or you'll never taste the joy
That can come from a breakthrough
@musicsongwriter Mar 2022
Fun song to listen to even though it's inspired by a horror idea. Very creative take. Busy song :) Lovely singing and playing Berni.
@chrisshepard Mar 2022
That's a lot of words! Good on you for seeing it through! Very nice listen...a classic storytelling vibe. I was going say Dylanesque and remembered you're the only one who noted my remake of Masters of War!
@bethdesombre Mar 2022
I like the way you frame the story ("coworkers," "intern") in a non-obvious ways and then slowly bring us into recognizing aspects of the story. And some aspects I wasn't familiar with . . .
You seem to have an array of interesting hybrid instruments. . . .
@arthurrossi Feb 2022
A very intriguing write, I am always amazed at your superb phrasing and vocabulary. Great story-telling lyrics with very strong lines like "But when you're a guy what can you do?". Excellent way to tell a seemingly long-known tale in a very fresh, new way with contemporary references and creating a totally new story in the end. Always a pleasure to drop by and have a listen to your creations...
@tseaver Feb 2022
Fun write, and a nice turn on the "witch ate them up" storyline.
@mmmmarcus Feb 2022
This is superb. Love the dark folk feel. Everything works together here. Excellent writing and performance.
@dzdandcunfsd Feb 2022
This is fabulous! I'm so so glad I didn't read the lyrics ahead of time as I usually do.
Bravo! Take a well deserved bow after this one!
edit: just read your liner notes, yeah the movie is very absurd... they should of went this route with it. :D
@vaughan Feb 2022
Wowee! This a long one. Good though!
@raspberry33 Feb 2022
What a great (and twisted) re-imagining of a classic story! The 2020 move only got 62% on the Tomatometer, but your take gets the full bushel!
@sheilerk Feb 2022
At every turn this story took it took me by surprise. It could have gone in so many directions. Did you know the outcome when you started writing or did it meander there in its own time? Enquiring minds want to know.
It’s a wonderfully written story, performed in awesome Berni style. I had no idea there was a movie, so this was enlightening!
@williamjames Feb 2022
Very cool melody! Very cool guitalele playing. Very traditional folk song vibe. Loved the twist you put on the story!
@kahlo2013 Feb 2022
This flows so perfectly and draws the listener right in to the story. I love the direction you took this and the contemporary spin on this story! Brilliant!
@intoyourlight Feb 2022
I love the way you tell stories so naturally in a song. Beautiful sound of the guitarlele also.
Makes me wish to sit in an Irish pub again, listening to live music like this and drink pints. Oh…traveling…excuse me, I’m off dreaming :)
@nadine Feb 2022
Haven't heard about this movie. But after reading your lyrics I don't wanna lol! I'm not even sure if you mean the horror movie or some "adult stuff".
Such a pleasure to listen to this song. Great storytelling and I'm lmao.
@driftwood1 Feb 2022
Ha, that didn't end as I expected. Nice bit of story telling here.
@kenmattsson Feb 2022
This was a journey! Wow Berni, great writing. Such twists here. Great playing too.
@crisp1 Feb 2022
Berni, you crack me up so much! You have absolutely mastered the art of enjoying FAWM to the fullest! This is a hoot.
@cindyrella Feb 2022
I'd say you did exceptionally well! Nice storytelling!
@mattwdunn Feb 2022
This is brilliant. Sounds like a Folk standard. Great melody, great lyrics writing, great performance. I thoroughly enjoyed it