Feb 2022 indie indie-folk
Just a messy idea for a song that I've been wanting to write for awhile. Gotta figure out how to make that D chord transition better before the chorus, a little awkward, but this is more about processing than actually trying to write a good song, which is something I want to do more with music in general!
We drove down
To florida
In the back of your RV truck
Overhead the fireworks fly
Was it new years or forth of july
I guess it was cold at the time
Thats what I remember I wouldnt lie
I felt like just another guy
You took me along man, for the longest drive
I was so broke, you spent so much dough on me
If this is about you im sorry
We met first at the train station
I was Wet as a whistle, you fought for our nation
Had fun in the bedroom, but never don dates and
You lent me some money, but I never paid it back
And you never asked
I was so broke you spent so much dough on me
If this is about you, im sorry
We met up, on the cape
You were working on an estate
Invited me out for a little escape
Little did I know it was for a break up
You told me, I could never pay my way
And it wasn’t worth it but then you paid
For a ticket for a ferry to carry me away
I was so broke you spent so much dough on me
If this is about you, im sorry
@rayboneor Feb 2022
This has such a great rocking rhythm, like a sad lullaby. The melody is lovely. I could listen to you sing "If this is about you I'm sorry" all day. You've got a winner here for sure. The song's over and I've got that "back and forth" melody in my head still.
@jacobeverettwallace Feb 2022
Great storytelling! I really like the chorus melody. Nicely written.
@sheslin Feb 2022
I love your melody over the back and forth chords - and also the fast pace of your lyrics and how each line runs into the next. It gives the story you are telling a lot of forward momentum. I also like how you repeat the last line of your chorus 4 times with the same melody but change the chords back and forth under it. Really nice indie folk song!
@cloudhopper Feb 2022
quite a story , sounds like a good friend
good work!
@emory Feb 2022
I like the ending, with the ferry ticket! This is a good story song.