A songwriting group I'm in posts random news articles and prompts us to write a song based on it.
Here's the article and headline:
"A couple caught an armed stranger in their home. He apologized and paid them $200 for breaking their window."
https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2022/02/04/intruder-leaves-money-200-santa-fe/
Let me know what you think!
V1
Ice cold in Sante Fe
I’m dragging through the streets tonight
There’s a monster at my heels
But I don’t have the fight
V2
I find your darkened windows
I break my way inside
Let the warmth of home surround me
Give me somewhere safe to hide
Chorus
I’m sorry for the mess I made
I’m sorry for the things I drank
I was just a boy and I was hiding in your pillows
I hope that I can make ammends
Here’s money for the broken glass
I’m just so sorry, so sorry for the inconvenience
Bridge
Three years on the run / I’ve been sleeping on my gun
I can’t remember, those warm days when I was free
But for a moment in your kitchen, I felt a little bit like me
V3
Lights in the distance
As I fade into the night
I know they’re on my trail again
I’m cold and tired
And I just don’t have the fight
@chariotbaldwin Mar 2022
lyrically this is lovely.
its a real heartbreaker for a singer to stand on stage and confess his crimes. You really pinged my heart in the bridge, not to make excuses for what was done, but that line "but for a moment in your kitchen, I felt a little bit like me". - wow!
@ambroise Feb 2022
So strongs images ! It sond like a treaser video and it made me want to watch the whole moovie. And the point of view on the story is so inexpected. Great storytelling !
@ofishell Feb 2022
WOW. Love the way you come in and out of your falsetto...so cool (I'm also jealous, as I've never liked my falsetto for anything other than comedy purposes). And, as with the other song I've heard thus far, I really adore your piano playing. From a lyrics perspective, this is such a great example of taking something from the news and capturing the humanity in the person who so easily would be seen as the villain.
@kenmattsson Feb 2022
Great vocals, and your piano work is so smooth. You really took the persona and ran with it, even if it's not identifiable as the original guy in the news story. The storytelling here is top notch.
@jessicamoon Feb 2022
Oh my goodness, I love how different your voice sounds on this second song! This really sets a tone, I love the parts where your voice goes into higher ranges.
@bethyrose Feb 2022
Ohh I really like this. I can feel the musical theater influence as you tell this story. Keep it up! :)
@sheslin Feb 2022
What a great idea for song starters. I loved how you fleshed out the backstory around this kid and you made us feel the humanity in him. Really great tune - and well handled key change I believe at the chorus. Well done!