Feb 2022 s020622 skirmish songskirmish pretty girl-with-guitar singer-songwriter
Bit of a random take on the prompt. Not sure where it came from since I don't tend to have men comment in how I am not girly enough . Not sure I like it. Music is a bit meh but I like the idea of the song. One for the pile of things to work on (which will never happen). The text is so long that you can hear the pauses where I had to scroll the page :-)
Oh, and I was running so late that I had to make the melody of the last section up as I was recording it.
Edit: I rerecorded it the day after. Sounds better. Learning to use my DAW.
You should smile more
But not like that
Showing teeth does not look genuine to me
Just wear a dress
Once in a while
You look too butch in that pair of dungarees
Sit upright
But not like that
Only a man sits with his legs that far apart
Don't bite your nails
Your hands look rough
Don't paint them red though, cuz you'll look like a cheap tart
[Pre-Chorus]
I don't see why you are getting so upset
I'm only trying to help you to look your best
I like your hair
But not like that
When you wear it in a bun it looks severe
You have great tits
But wear a bra
Oh I'm sorry did that piss you off my dear?
I don't see why you are getting so upset
I'm only trying to help you to look your best
[Chorus]
There is nothing you can say these days that doesn't cause offence
How the hell's a man to know what's OK?
Just the fact that I am looking at you means you've caught my eye
Isn't that what women want at the end of the day?
Your shoes are flat
What's up with that
Stiletto heels will make your hips more feminine
In actual fact
Your hairy chin
Is it the menopause and lack of oestrogen?
I don't see why you are getting so upset
I'm only trying to help you to look your best
Now listen up you little twerp
Before I rip your balls apart
And stomp all over them with the shoes I choose to wear
I will dress the way I want
And it is not for you to say
Why the hell should you even bloody care
It is never good enough
It is never good enough
It is never good enough
So why don't you
And your friends
Just fuck off
@ambroise Apr 2022
Nice reempowerment song !
What do you mean "Music is a bit meh" ? It feels just perfect to me. Of course I can imagine it biger with a whole band that could soften the transitions. But I feel like the music here stands its ground and plays its role nicely.
Is the guy giving fashion advice even well dressed ? I couldn't say why but I picture a zero-f*ck-given style.
@skibum1066 Mar 2022
Cute song. I like your voice. Strong. Clear. Thanks for your observations on "If I told the truth". I am primarily a poet. The words would not attract a songwriter(and did not, so after three weeks waiting, I did it myself because it was something I wanted to say. It didn't turn out too badly.
Are you Welsh? St Davids Day today! Something in the national anthem about poets, minstrels, bards, the mountains of Cambria. (I live in Cambria county, Pennsylvania)
@berni1954 Feb 2022
This was fantastic. I must send a link to my daughter, she will love this one. You perfectly dissect the social pressures that women are subjected to in society. And then you turn it personal as the listener realises your protagonist is not being addressed by her mother, as I thought at the beginning, but by some random bloody male strangers who should mind their own fucking business! Chapeau!
PS I like the structure a lot. Pre-Choruses that lead back into verses, before we get to the true Chorus, the powerful "spoken" section, etc.
@timfatchen Feb 2022
I came here from your "how do i silence the critic" forum post. The carping critic in this clever lyric "I'm only trying to help" plus the male bit... I was cheering at the "little twerp" and the sharp end! Backing and voice fit admirably. Applause! Now, what's this about the critic? Tell it to effoff too!
@sheilerk Feb 2022
Holy crap, this is amazing! A new anthem for the ages! Well, maybe not going that far, but it is so good!!! The changes in the point of view, and the meter and music work so well! And I’d totally believe you have those stilettos (or whatever you prefer) and know how to use them, just from the tone of your voice!
@wylddandelyon Feb 2022
This sounds good, the vocals really shine. And as to where it came from, some women may not get in-your-face comments like these, but the messages are still there, in media and in smaller reactions that people can pretend they didn't have or didn't mean. I grew up being defined by others' perceptions of what a woman "is", "must be" "must not be" and "should be", and I have to say those little things mount up, making a person feel like they've been put in a box, and usually a box that is too small and doesn't fit properly. this song works for me!
@thetau Feb 2022
Wow such vocal Power... Absolutely fascinating
@davidtaro Feb 2022
Love the structure, having that pre-chorus and chorus from the bloke’s perspective (and thus allowing him to dig his own grave with his idiot words) is so effective satirically-speaking. And then it allows the honesty and humour in the verses to shine through. Also love that punky bridge section near the end, with the panned vocals. And the f**k off coda rocks, well done!
@serene123 Feb 2022
Any song that mentions menopause is good in my books, not enough songs do ha! That little twerp bit was so good. Great performance
@hev Feb 2022
Made me laugh and also feel sad for all the times I’ve felt not good enough: excellent! I did like the vocal distortion. The good enough bit could be a great hook if on repeat, but I like the abrupt ending also!
@cicpisces Feb 2022
I like the attitude in this. Vocal is so clear and on point. Really enjoyed the theme. Can't help but love a straight talker.
@celineellis Feb 2022
New demo - more punk!!!!
@wurzelfrau Feb 2022
OH YES.
All of it. Great song!
@tawny249 Feb 2022
That ending bit brings it all together nicely. Stomp away. :D Sounds pretty good to me, especially for a skirmish. I am always in awe of anyone who does something worth keeping with an hour to write. Angry guitar for the win.
@artie Feb 2022
Very nicely written. I loved the guitar sound that carried the song throughout, and the lyrics really give it a punch. Great adlib of the melody at the end -- really made the passion and feeling more visceral!
@chrishinch86 Feb 2022
This is great, really enjoyed listening and made me laugh out loud!! Job well done indeed!!
@melaniepegge Feb 2022
This is brilliant and extremely satisfying to hear those lyrics!
@hazeyjane Feb 2022
Some great lines here. Laughed out loud at the ‘cheap tart’ line, sung so earnestly. With some drums and bass. Keep it!
@scruffyblues Feb 2022
Great lyrics and delivery, definitely a great take on the prompt and one to revisit. Excellent song!
@paulroe Feb 2022
Nice cynical take on the triggered age :-) Honing in on fashion and appearance to suggest a broader message. The genre is undefined, which is good: Kind of drifts between acoustic ballad and onto a more traditional roots music feel in the chorus/break
@apolez3 Feb 2022
I have no comment.
@mariekevinkmusic Feb 2022
I'm hearing a punk-type production in this. With the last part sung (yelled) by a women with the voice distorted like through a megaphone...
@thedutchwidows Feb 2022
I don't hear the 'meh'-ness. This is lyrically and melodically superb. This will be a real shame if you don't go back to it (although kudos for the honest 'will never happen'!).
@tcelliott Feb 2022
I like that strumming, a great energy to it. I like the phrasing in your melody/lyric. I like the melody on the chorus, too. Great lyric especially for a skirmish.
@tukayandryan Feb 2022
This is a skirmish!! Really clever lyrics! Bloomin funny too. I literally laughed out loud at the hairy chin line!!
Love the ending too!
@cubizm Feb 2022
I love the density of the lyrics against the rhythm.
Also really like your performance. The irony comes throught right from the beginning.
@hmstreetteam Feb 2022
A pretty good depiction of the way people will pick at every detail of your appearance, then plead innocence. In truth there is never a good intention behind this kind of criticism and I like the way the song eventually gets around to saying that directly after a few verses of hinting.
@writeandwrong Feb 2022
Ohh, this turned into an excellent topic, current, and lovely rhythm. Amazing lines throughout! Kudos to an amazing write during a skirmish!!
@celineellis Feb 2022
Mate this is wicked!!!! Such a strong lyric and the music is awesome and well played. It’s suited to the song for sure!! Made me smile and nod my head and tap my foot
@songsfromcarly Feb 2022
I'm on my 3rd listen!
@chroes Feb 2022
That pre-chorus! I love your take on this, that chorus really nails it. I almost wished I couldn't relate as well to the lyrics as I do. All those dudes who got so much opinions... Ahh. But the end left me grinning. :}
I very much enjoyed all the little rhythmic changes.
@arthurrossi Feb 2022
A very strong lyric, so well written and made me smile. Very creative, the tune is so beautiful and I am a great fan of your voice... It is impressive what you managed to create here in such a limited frame of time!
@coolparadiso Feb 2022
That last bit was great we were all egging you on, yeah tell um to stick it! Yeah. No more abuse! Well said. The guitar holds it fine.
@ajna1960 Feb 2022
Woohoo love it ! Brilliant. And very often quite true as to what some guys (and some mothers) can be like.
I love the end too. Perfect !
@metalfoot Feb 2022
Wow. That's a strong lyric and well-aimed. Strong song all around!
@pearlmanhattan Feb 2022
Excellent take on the prompt! I can identify so well with this! Well written and well performed! Thank you! Great skirmish!
@mikeskliar Feb 2022
ha, what a great idea for a song, I can picture the whole thing, and what an ending!!
@andygriff Feb 2022
This is great, and very on-point words too (and very funny too!) brilliant :D
@carleybaer Feb 2022
I LOVE THIS.
@tunecat Feb 2022
I think it’s brilliant … these are typical things that nasty gaslighting boyfriends say.
@songsfromcarly Feb 2022
Yes Marieke! This song is so relatable and also hilarious I love it!