VERY quick and dirty first version. I love the story I came up with, but the lyrics need more work, as for the chords and melody are just my first take on it.
Update: Turned it into a collab and have gotten some wonderful additions to it by Kelly Williams
[Verse 1]
You were my hero, dad
You were always so strong
Never saw a thing
You couldn’t take on
But when it came to me
You put up your walls
They felt larger than life
And I felt so small
[Pre]
In the evening I would dream
[Chorus]
I could finally talk
Let down my guard
Share what I want
Open my heart
I’ve waited so long
To feel that close
And finally know
When I need to talk
I call you and talk on the phone
[Verse 2]
Years passed us by so fast
I was suddenly grown
Still felt like that kid
When I came back home
I saw you grow old
And all your strength go
You were still as silent
As you were before
[Pre]
Every night I would still dream
[Chorus]
I could finally talk
Let down my guard
Share what I want
Open my heart
I’ve waited so long
To feel that close
And finally know
when I need to talk
I can call you and talk on the phone
[Middle-Eight]
The last time I saw you
Hadn’t seen you in months
I sat with you in silence
And I knew from here on
[Chorus]
I could finally talk
Let down my guard
Share what I want
Open my heart
I’ve waited so long
To feel that close
And finally know
I could finally talk
Let down my guard
Share what I want
Open my heart
I’ve waited so long
To feel that close
when I need to talk
I can call you and talk on the phone
Yeah, now that you're gone
I call you and talk on the phone
@bethdesombre Feb 2022
Such a beautiful sad melody beneath a melancholy lyric. I love "They felt larger than life/And I felt so small" and the chorus contrast (and the shift that happens in the bridge) is effective.
@guatecoop Feb 2022
Hey, this is a really personal song and you've handled it so well. The melody and timing is really smooth and patient. Really beautifully written and the feelings come through so well. Nicely done!
@theicylakes Feb 2022
Thank you everybody for the kind comments so far! We've been working on polishing the lyrics and melody and I feel like we're starting to get close to something now!
@kenmattsson Feb 2022
So evocative. I'm dealing with an elderly father and looking at the end, and this song just struck me. The lyrics and performance are really amazing. While you may want to adjust some things, what you have right now is pretty brilliant.
@tukayandryan Feb 2022
Love this. Emotive vocal, beautifully delivered. Gorgeous guitar picking pattern. Lovely build in the chorus.
@celineellis Feb 2022
This is a strong write Jon - lovely chord progression and the vocal delivery is spot on for this sentiment. those little spoken endings to line 2 and 7 are perfection!
@leslie333 Feb 2022
Pensive and pretty and I agree, not much changing needed at all, if any.
@ohleeoh Feb 2022
So beautiful, I wouldn’t change much. Keep up the good writing.