My cat died and everything feels wrong which is why I haven't been doing FAWM. Sort of Casiotone for the painfully alone/digital ash vibes on this one. A little too cliche.
I’ve had a nosebleed every day since you died
and I don’t think that it means anything.
Pathetic in a way I have criticized others for
feeling guilty for laughing or not laughing
or worrying or not worrying
for resting or working
rushing to write things down
time is so corrosive now
I’m starting to forget the way things worked
it was all so simple
the muscle memory
atrophies away
until there’s a day where I am happy but I don’t think of your face
I wish it was uncertain but it’s not
Billions of years
I have had a nosebleed every day since you died
and I know it doesn’t mean anything.
Casually endangering myself
not looking before crossing the road
as cosmic protest to a cosmology I don’t accept
call it “soft suicide”
but i’m scared that I’ll never die
or that I’ll die tomorrow
and nothing in-between
it just feels so useless
to progress
knowing slates are wiping clean
and even if I see the future
I won’t know what it means.
@bootlegger Feb 2022
I'm so sorry about your cat. This is a cool song though. Really well done and love those fried vocals. Wasn't expecting that change. Really creative song. Awesome stuff.
@owl Feb 2022
I’m so sorry about your cat. For my FAWM 2020 I was going through a similar hard time and it was such a struggle. This is really moving, the lyrics feel so perfectly personal, painful, and evocative and I think you nail the lo-fi, melodic Casiotone for the Painfully Alone type of vibe in the production and songwriting.
@vomvorton Feb 2022
Damn, this hits hard. Sorry for your loss - I also had to write a feline farewell song during FAWM a few years ago and I think it did kinda help, I hope you managed to get through some things during the creative process. The result is amazing, anyway - incredible sounds and emotional vocals. Reminds me of some of the deeply sad Mount Eerie songs from recent years, but filtered through electronics. Really beautiful.
@nobodyofficial Feb 2022
You can definitely feel the emotion in this one. Keep going.
@blainev83 Feb 2022
It’s all been said here. So sorry for your loss. This is a very powerful, gut wrenching piece. Very immersive experience.
@rayboneor Feb 2022
I'm so sorry. This is a really powerful expression of that grief. It kind of feels gross to say that I enjoyed it, but there it is. Those lines around "soft suicide" hit pretty hard
@elesimo Feb 2022
So sorry for your loss! I can't imagine what would it be if my dog died, I'm scared for that day.
The song is fantastic, I hope it makes things a bit easier for you. Or the world a better place, though I know it would've been better with your cat and without the song.
I also hope my Charlie Brown song helped a little bit. Stay safe!
@jennakole Feb 2022
Shit. This is really good. And devastating. And relatable. And I’m sorry for your loss.
The spoken parts are… gut wrenching. And yeah, in a conor way…
The second verse is so fucking good. Nothing more than that.
I hope you can distill more of your processing here. Get it if you can’t.