Feb 2022
I shouldn't have written this, but I guess I needed to. Scene: I'm at the bar alone after watching my friend's band play.
5 minutes of me being an asshole.
There's gouda, feta, mozzarella, Marscapone, and gorgonzola
Provolone and aged white cheddar
None of them come close
To a soulless white guy on the microphone
There's cheese that's creamed and cheese from goats
Cheese that's blue and cheese with holes
Spicy cheese that burns your nose
Still none of them comes close
To a soulless white guy on the microphone
Parmesan and ricotta
They go great with whole wheat pasta
Colby Jack and dill havarti
They go over well at parties
Melty cheese that's dipped with chips
Taste good but goes straight to your hips
Opa! Cheese and pitas bread
Burns your eyebrows off your forehead
Your friend Nigel might bring the brie
But you'll always find the biggest cheese
Is a soulless white guy on the microphone
@mattoxic Feb 2022
I saw a youtuber describing Swiss cheese as 'incomplete cheese'
I'm really glad you said all this. It needed to be said. Great lyrics.
@stuartbenbow Feb 2022
Lol, this has to have had a train wreck at a mic for inspiration. Well done, turning their tragedy into your muse. It worked so well!
@blindkiwi Feb 2022
Hahahahaha and that is why I try and avoid singing into one. All the other cheeses work for me, blue cheese before bed is the poor man’s peyote :)