Feb 2022 post-punk proto-punk 20-words-or-less
Experimenting in lyrical minimalism, I aimed to write a song using less than 20 words (ended up with 16). It was a good exercise, really forced me to question every inclusion, whether it was necessary, how it could be used.
The resulting song... well, it's not as rich as I'd like. Iggy Pop imposed this restriction and ended up with classics like "Dirt" and "I wanna be your dog". My effort is not so evocative. But it's definitely a song.
Play me down for time
Play me down for what’s mine
Break me down in the flow
For a moment, play me down
For a moment in time
Take the time in the day
Take the moment in the break
In a play, down in what’s mine
Take a moment in time
Flow time to the break
What’s mine, play to take
Play me down for time
Play a moment, for what’s mine
What’s mine in the flow
In the moment, in the play, in time
Play me down
Take me down
Break me down
In time
@emplate Feb 2022
Others have mentioned Nick Cave, but your vocals actually brought Jim Morrison to my mind! The whole track actually has same kind of vibe as The Doors in its hypnotic feel. I also immediately thought of Iggy, and noticed you mentioned him yourself :) I really like both, so this was definitely enjoyable!
@majormajormajormajor Feb 2022
Yeah, Nick Cave! I couldn't quite place what this reminded me of, but that's it. Your vocal has this authoritative, dismissive croon without ever seeming put on- very cool and not an easy thing to pull off well. Your experiment seems to serve that as well, so I'd put it down as an unqualified success. Backing tracks are similarly restrained, though I also like how the guitar flirts with dissonance and then returns to its octaves, this slight tension-release happening without taking away from the vocal which is clearly the main attraction.
@dugganensis Feb 2022
This just oozes coolness and mystery. There's a lo-fi gothy art rock thing happening here. Vocals even sound to me like Nick Cave.
@ductapeguy Feb 2022
The lockstep chugging of guitars bass and drums set such a meditative bed for the world weary mantra-like vocals. Well done.