Update 2/10: I wrote music for this one, so it's no longer open for collaboration. It's in a blues style with some jazz-flavored chromatic chords.
My friends on the force, you know how they are.
They were up to their necks in investigation.
They said we found something truly bizarre.
You might be in trouble, mate. Come down to the station.
We found your fingerprints all over the murder guitar.
I said, of course you did man, it’s my inspiration.
I always pick it up and hold it
And pluck and tune it
And strum it. It goes where I go.
We’re a unit.
I don’t know how it got involved
In this sordid affair,
But I would not tell you lies.
When I play a killer lick,
Nobody dies.
Eventually that instrument came back to my hands
But we was under a cloud of suspicion.
I swore on a fake book to all of my bands:
I’m *not* a thug, I’m a musician.
I said, let’s wait and see where the evidence lands
But they already had lots of ammunition.
’Cause I always pick it up and hold it
And pluck it and tune it
And strum it. It goes where I go.
We’re a unit.
But I didn’t cut any tracks
In this criminal medley.
Just look into my eyes!
When I play a killer lick,
Nobody dies.
I've started to feel like a man
In a story by Edgar Allen Poe
I look at my axe from the corner of my eye.
Do I really want to know?
Did it strike a fatal blow?
And why?
Almost fainted away when I got the next call.
My heart never beat any faster.
They said, you’re off the hook, ’cause you play a Les Paul.
Our culprit’s a Stratocaster.
I said “I knew it!” but truth is I wasn’t sure at all,
And I’d turned down the gain and the master.
But now I can pick it up and hold it
And strum it and tune it
And take it wherever I go.
We’re a unit.
And now I can say with no doubt in my mind,
’Cause I don’t want to tell you lies.
When I play a killer lick,
Nobody dies.
@headfirstonly Mar 2022
I love the idea of a guitarist swearing on his fake book, because of course he would. I'm hoping the protagonist here is called Eugene, because he really needs to be careful with that axe.
This would make a great companion piece to Jim Steinman's "Love, Death, and an American Guitar."
@theflyingcelery Feb 2022
Witty and fun! I love the line "And I'd turned down the gain and the master." Who knew there could be such suspicion between a man and his guitar!!