First skirmish of FAWM 2022, subject "too much baggage"
I get dressed up every Friday
In the finest clothes I own
I don't go for ties cos there's too many lines to fold
I rehearse my trusted words
And hope the jokes will stick
Ignore the fear I'll hear again
That same old sad refrain
Hey Mr Baggage Man
You carry too much weight
Inside your weary smile
There's too much to contain
Sorry Mr Baggage Man
I cannot board that train
What's the use in that umbrella
When your eyes are full of rain
I try to hide the damage
But the cracks are clear to see
And the tangled lines of crime tape
Keep the strongest far from me
I break up every sentence
While I'm fencing for my life
And the disappointed faces
Become like a flensing knife
I feel like a left luggage office
Where no one ever comes
Yearning for connection
Before they cut and run
@fonte Feb 2022
Wow, blown away that this is a skirmish! Kind of nice tambourine man replacement thing :-) I don't think I could actually write that many words in an hour let alone record and play and sing lol
@ddd Feb 2022
A lovely touching song, beautifully put together. A great discovery.
@skibum1066 Feb 2022
Good lyrics understandable I enjoy your common touch. Thanks
@musicsongwriter Feb 2022
Wow, what an adorable skirmish song! For songs of this quality people spend years. The atmosphere in your song reminded me of the song in a movie "Music and Lyrics" which I adore. Song like this can make people make up, come back together, feel good about their relationship. Magic! Love your singing and playing.
@breezyanna Feb 2022
Gosh, you got the muse on tap! Just lovey. You’re a natural lyricist and have a truly endearing Randy Newman way of adding a sweetness to pain. Beautiful work!
@tjeff Feb 2022
Love the title and how you put those words to melody. Nice playing & singing. Reminds me a bit of John McCutcheon.
@melaniepegge Feb 2022
Very impressed you wrote this in an hour?! You're on a proper roll
@spazsquatch Feb 2022
Beautiful song. Great take on the prompt.
@cblack Feb 2022
Nice and thoughtful. I could see this in a movie scene. The vocals are stellar and moving. The simple piano really drives the emotion home.
Really nice. :)
@liz561 Feb 2022
What's the use in that umbrella when your eyes are full of rain- fantastic line!!
@tukayandryan Feb 2022
This is a skirmish?!! Top stuff Andy. Timeless and classy. 'Eyes full of rain.' Love that.
@celineellis Feb 2022
'whats the use in that umbrella, when your eyes are full of rain' - oh my days thats just poetry Andy!
@hmstreetteam Feb 2022
This could be a piano ballad from a lifetime ago. It delivers impeccably on that genre. The weary lyrics and artful melody make it stand out.
@sheilerk Feb 2022
A really novel take on the prompt, really nicely developed.. You build the character beautifully, and the piano vocal carries the mood to perfection. I very much enjoyed this!
@berni1954 Feb 2022
This is superb and for a skirmish it's extraordinary.
So many great lines. But especially the last couplet of the chorus. Genius!
I know that "to compare is to betray" - but this has a real feel of an early Leo Sayer song. (Ignore his commercial crap, his first two albums were masterpieces).
@whispermouse Feb 2022
Wow. The piano is perfect for this. "What's the use in that umbrella / When your eyes are full of rain" is just killer. Just a fantastic song.
@jwhanberry Feb 2022
This is a touching story you tell here. His character comes through so clearly. Nice work.
@stephentanner Feb 2022
Beatles-esque in place, which can never be a bad thing. Brilliant lyrics again as well.
@fourzeroes Feb 2022
I really like this song. I'll call Billy Joel's band and see if they fancy popping round to add bass, guitar, drums etc. How would it sound if you did the same chord change you do after "Sorry Mr Baggage Man" after "Hey Mr Baggage Man" too?
@auditasum Feb 2022
Your lyrics and melody really communicate the heaviness tiny details of life can take on. "I don't go for ties cos there's too many lines to fold"-- valid! Very solid song considering the time :)
@vivalarayna Feb 2022
"What's the use in that umbrella/When your eyes are full of rain". Oof. That line tells the whole story. Beautiful arrangement and delivery.
@wylddandelyon Feb 2022
Very nice, but so sad.
@mikeskliar Feb 2022
wow, this is powerful, melodic and memorable. and yeah, as others have said that 'whats the use of that umbrella when your eyes are full of rain' is a killer line. This is a great piano ballad, and really well done! love that you had time somehow to write a bridge too, in addition to a few verses and chorus ....
@keithcuts Feb 2022
"umbrella eyes full of raiN" wow that line
some cool melodies and visual lines in your writing.
it was delightful
@tuneslayer Feb 2022
"What's the use in that umbrella / When your eyes are full of rain" Nice imagery.
@ajna1960 Feb 2022
Sweet melody and chords :)
This is a very unusual take on the prompt and not one I'd have thought of. Well done.
Beautiful song too :)
@mariekevinkmusic Feb 2022
Sounds like a Paul McCartney chorus. And I mean that in a very good way, obviously. Such a great skirmish! Day 2 and you are 3 songs in already...