For Skirmish 2nd Feb 9pm GMT
She put an overweight symbol on my brown suitcase
Guilty as charged - I read that on her face
But the least of my worries what I carry in my hands
It's heavier still that long list of your demands
I got too much baggage around my neck
Too much baggage for me to check
Why do I carry such a heavy load
If I can't leave them behind my head will explode
I got trouble a plenty as I'm heading for the plane
My worries and doubts are driving me insane
Will this trip be worth it? Will it change anything?
My stomachs started churning I feel like a coiled up spring
CHORUS
You always say that I live in the past
Tied to my memories like Odysseus to the mast
But it's you who reminds me of why we've broken down
With the weight I'm carrying if I fall in the pool I'll drown
CHORUS
@evandiem Feb 2022
I like that the writing here implies that the baggage is not only metaphorical but also literal. As if the physical baggage the narrator is taking on the plane is just as important as the purpose for them taking the flight. Perhaps the narrator is bringing too many clothes as they wish to spend more time with the "you" mentioned in the song than "you" expects? That's my thought anyway. Well done skirmish!
@janeg Feb 2022
Great listening! Imsee I am not the only one who loves the Odysseus line best.
@davidsnyder Feb 2022
Nice! The lyrics are funny, but I think many people can relate! Great job!!
@tjeff Feb 2022
I got an early Beach Boys vibe from this, very enjoyable. Catchy melody and groove. I like the “head will explode” end to the chorus.
@nadine Feb 2022
Read the Skirmish prompt yesteday night, but I was too deep into production to start something new. Forget the blue suede shoes, this is a suitcase blues!
@auditasum Feb 2022
Clever lyrics on top of a catchy driving guitar. "Tied to my memories like Odysseus to the mast"-- nice.
@tiller2 Feb 2022
Good relationship song, you've got a journey, internal stress, Classical allusion, and a vivid metaphor: "like a coiled up spring." Damn good for an hour! Cheers
@mariekevinkmusic Feb 2022
Oooohhhh.... Both literal and figurative interpretation of the prompt. Nice. I usually only manage or the other!!
@liz561 Feb 2022
Loved the Odysseus line!
@kahlo2013 Feb 2022
Fun and catchy and relatable literal vocals image as well as a great metaphor! Love the energy.
@estebanlartigue Feb 2022
Nice!!’ Que bueno verte por aqui happy fawm!!
@sw1n3flu Feb 2022
Catchy AF chorus! Your rhymes are on fire, excellent skirmishing!
@jtsteam Feb 2022
Wow, that's great work for one hour!
@whispermouse Feb 2022
"Tied to my memories like Odysseus to the mast" nice job getting that one in there :D
Something about this says "Chuck Berry" to me. Don't know if it's the guitar or the flow of the lyrics or what, but I like it. Nice upbeat feel without falling into melancholy, even given the subject matter.
@phylo Feb 2022
Great idea for a song. I love all the metaphors - very very clever. Well done, Sir!
@jwhanberry Feb 2022
Good juxtaposition of air travel with a relationship.
@thedutchwidows Feb 2022
That's great. The lyrics are super-coherent for something written so quickly. Musically - very nice. Can't fault it. Top marks!
@hakk Feb 2022
Very good skirmish song. Impressive!
@sheilerk Feb 2022
How you do that will always be a mystery to me. Perfect music, perfect words and perfect vocal, all at once in an hour. Great storytelling too, and totally relatable and toe tappable! Great Skirmish!!
@tuneslayer Feb 2022
Your songs are always a treat and this one is no exception.
@mikeskliar Feb 2022
ha, what a great idea, and well done! great ideas and great performance! fun and some astute psychological observations, too. I went more random/silly with this one, it was a fun challenge.
@vivalarayna Feb 2022
Rockin'! This is a fun listen the whole way through. I could envision that counter agent's face (I've definitely been on the receiving end of that look). Bonus points for using the Odysseus reference in a rock song.
@keithcuts Feb 2022
open verse clever!
i can relate to that second chorus
these lyrics are fiyaaa. great wrting with emotions conveyed.
also im glad you sorteedd out your posting err hosting problems. lol
@andygriff Feb 2022
Words and music fit perfectly! I like how the lyrics are slightly tongue in cheek too
@ajna1960 Feb 2022
Woohoo love me some rock n roll !
This lyric perfectly suits the melody and arrangement, which is rarely than you'd think.
By the way, love this line:
"With the weight I'm carrying if I fall in the pool I'll drown"
@fiteclub Feb 2022
I always struggle with where to start the story of a song. It is never "at the beginning: "she put an overweight symbol" is the right place. Well done.
@hmstreetteam Feb 2022
A lot of energy and tension, nailed the melody, fits the theme perfectly. Fun!