Many decades ago, I read a book of short stories called "Fancies and Goodnights" by John Collier. Quite a few of the stories stayed with me over the years but "The Lady on the Grey" more than most.
This is pretty much just a summary of the source, but in rhyme.
Ringwood was of noble stock
But not with house or land
And so he rambled country-wide
In search of pleasures grand.
The horse, the salmon, and the fox
Stood high upon his list.
Above them, only local maids
With no will to resist.
Now, often he would hear some tale
Concerning his friend Bates
Who also roamed the counties round
And shared in Ringwood’s tastes.
In that way he came to learn
About Knockderry town.
He could not think what prize it held
Nor guess what Bates had found.
Some days then passed ’til Ringwood rode
Up to Knockderry’s inn,
Discovering, though Bates was gone,
His bags remained within.
“I wager that he’s found some lass
Or, likelier, found two,”
So, Ringwood thought, and then retired,
His options to review.
To pass the waiting days he walked
The nearby paths and lanes
In hope that he would chance to glimpse
Some beauty, but in vain.
Until he met upon the road
A young and barefoot miss
Who drove her muddy, straggling cows.
One thing made him desist.
A lady on a horse of grey
Appeared along the trail.
When Ringwood thought of comeliness
Comparisons all failed.
She paused before she turned aside.
He stood entranced by her.
She whistled for her dog to come,
A bone-thin beaten cur.
He followed to her tower home
Along a winding track.
She turned and stared into his eyes
’Til he could not hold back.
With whiskey and with firelight
She drove his sense away
And he made fervent promise then
That he would always stay.
He woke when it was fully dark
With friend Bates standing near
Who told him not to speak too loud,
Afraid that she would hear.
He woke when it was fully dark
And, horrified, he saw,
By light of one last flickering flame,
His thin and furry paws.
@tageule Feb 2022
Great write. I love this kind of story, and you turned it into an amazing ballad. I really enjoyed listening.
@elainedimasi Feb 2022
This is pleasant also clever from the start! Then it gets even better, because you lose no time is making a mystery develop. I became captivated by the story. Nice job on everything in this track.
@ceilidh Feb 2022
One thing which might add to the suspense is to modify the " flickering flame" to a series of rising notes, holding on the word "flame" before singing that last line. I wonder why she's collecting the bone-thin hounds. Will they be leading the Faerie Hunt? Good translation of story to song!
@moonraccoon Feb 2022
That ends so good, on such an ominous note. And a great origin story! Now I want to hear more about that bone-thin beaten cur ;)
@azraelarmond33 Feb 2022
Very tight meter. Well written
@chipwithrow Feb 2022
What a tale! And told with your lovely and distinctive vocal style - so suited for tale-telling. Sweet guitar picking, too. A compelling song.
@infilktion Feb 2022
I'm not familiar with the tale, but I love this! Enjoyed your guitar work! - Natalie
@timfatchen Feb 2022
Well into trad ballad here. Good story! Definitely gone to the dogs. Don't tangle with young maidens or grey ladies!
@gmcgath Feb 2022
The kind of song that leaves you asking, "AND THEN WHAT??"
Nicely done.
@wurzelfrau Feb 2022
This was a fantastic story, very well written too. I really liked it!
@rwhosings Feb 2022
I love this treatment. Just pure storytelling, no tie to a refrain or chorus to interrupt the flow. Not that they always do, I just struggle with refrains when I’m trying to write a story like this.
Also, I love a creepy story like this, and the guitar is awesome.
@the3queens Feb 2022
Wow these lyrics are so intriguing and the music so calming. I feel I need to read more.