Lyrics are hard for me. Making up words is hard. Rhyming is hard. Melody is too. What else is there in a song? :) Anyway...
I'm thinking that the lines without any punctuation marks is a rap or just speaking with some sort of rhythm in it if I'm gonna do it since I'm no rapper but yeah... and that the chorus should have some sort of melody in it.
That's my plan.
And perhaps I should do a little more lyrics to this. To the rap / talk part.
Started with a heavy topic because why not.
Bu it has a body part in it! Week 1 challenge done! Yes!
CC BY
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/deed.en
Land Beneath Our Feet
Help shouts the diver in his mind as the net tangles to his feet and he shivers thinking is this how I die and in the end I did die doing what I love but I didn't plan it to be like this so help shouts the whale when the net ties its fins so the whale can barely swim and almost sinks as the whale thinks is this how it all ends although I didn't plan it to be like this because I survived the great hunt that lasted decades almost a century ago so help shouts the fisher as he tries to solve the mess and knots in his ships engine made by a net thrown to the sea last year as the storm approaches and he's thinking is this when I meet my maker but I'm too young to die so help shouts the
driver as a tree falls to the road and he was just speeding away from the roaming fire and thinks I don’t want to burn to death what a horrible death so help shouts the cow when her calf is taken away and she didn’t even have time to say goodbye and she is locked in a prison of many other cows and never sees the sky or tastes fresh grass so help shout the people when they try to breathe in the city that has cars and machines and roads and buildings that cover the land and overwhelming smog penetrates their lungs so help
I this how we treat
The land beneath our feet
Money making fleet
Saying trees are obsolete
Is this how we treat
The animals we eat
Blind to deceit
Grow, kill, repeat
Is this how we treat
The world suffering from heat
Buildings of steel and concrete
Is this how we treat
The world suffering from heat
Lifeless but efficient street
I don’t want to be
Part of it
Anymore
I so don’t want to be
Part of it
Anymore
@datsch Feb 2022
Truly inspiring! Reminds me of very early Regina Spektor in terms of the jazzy delivery of the melody but the overall structure is more ambitious. At first I didn't think the second inverted half as needed but now I like it as your melody vocal is unburied and really shines, well worth hearing a second time to appreciate your singing voice ...
@yam655 Feb 2022
It sounds like you're getting stuck on making it good. I'm of the opinion that good happens randomly, and it is easier to make more good stuff if you just make more stuff. Plus, making bad stuff is slightly more common than making good stuff, so it is nothing to fear. (This is known as the 60:30:10 rule, where 60% is mediocre, 30% is actively bad, and 10% is fantastic. Among other things, it's why professional photographers throw away 90% of their shots.)
You have a fine set of lyrics. You've posted a song. If it takes too long to think of a melody or the rest of it, I encourage you to just move on to the next one. Get back to this one if you're inspired to.
FAWM is like speed dating. You have plenty of time to revisit the songs you fall in love with later, but if you don't meet everybody you could miss out on the best one.