Not sure how many of these story based lyrics I’ll do this year - usually they’re my bread and butter but I’ve been finding them quite difficult to write all year. Pretty happy with how this one turned out though
The citrus in his creed
Has undertones of violet leaves
Her nose astute to where he's been
The lightness in his step
Misfastened button round his neck
The subtle signs that signal sex
She knows
His mouth tastes fresher than before like chewing gum from the corner store
But his lips taste greasy in the grooves
they’re conveying all of his dirty truths
And he laughs along when he recalls the night
But his eyes they grimace in this light
His words rigid and forced
Rehearsed, but she knows the score
The cork tainting her wine
A fruitless waste of precious vine
She plays the part, the stepford wife
She’s honed
She nods along in perfect time
Then talks
There’s a cutting in her calm
So little words to break his yarn
His woven worlds now pointless charm
Around her
His mouth tastes drier than before like sucking salt from an open sore
And his lips crack rock in the grooves
he’ll try another spin like a callous mule
But he stumbles along when he replays the lies
Protesting she’s got it wrong this time
His words shaking and hoarse
Desperate, but she knows the score
She knows the score,
But he’s still out here begging before she shows the door
And she waits for a knock but it never comes
And he tells all their friends that she left him for dust
And she walks in to town and she spots his new love
She is younger and brighter
Oh he’s got it so good, so good
Oh he’s got it so good, so good
But she knows deep down
He’ll fuck up, no doubt, she is better without his love
She takes comfort
@cleanshoes Feb 2022
So many great lines here. I was hooked by the time I got to "His mouth tastes fresher than before like chewing gum from the corner store/But his lips taste greasy in the grooves/They're conveying all of his dirty truths," and it just gets better from there! Well done.
@katestantonsings Feb 2022
This is a gut punch that I love! So many good lines here. You're a poet!
@beat Feb 2022
There’s a big gift in your craft.
@berni1954 Feb 2022
I like songs like these, which are basically a full short story in a few verses.
I love your "telling details" here. This one especially:
"The cork tainting her wine
A fruitless waste of precious vine"
@crisp1 Feb 2022
Masterfully told story with great details, infused with the sadness of so many broken relationships.
@scubed Feb 2022
“She nods along in perfect time” - what a great line! Excellent storytelling here - nicely done!
@engebretsen Feb 2022
Awesome poetry! I have read you`re lyrics and they are so full of story. I love that.
@colgoo Feb 2022
Powerful write, Jordan! Really powerful.
@sheslin Feb 2022
Wowza - what a story well told with lyrics that really pack a punch! Some lines that really stood out to me "The cork tainting her wine
A fruitless waste of precious vine" and "There’s a cutting in her calm
So little words to break his yarn His woven worlds now pointless charm
Around her" Glad to see she took the high road. Good riddance!!
@judypie Feb 2022
Oh burrrrrrrrr, this sounds dirtrrty AF! Man sounds like a right twat! Beatch be better without him :D
@unkept Feb 2022
Really great and vivid imagery, and I love the kind if ultra zoom details you have hear, the open sores, the misfastened button, brilliant.
@frey Feb 2022
Your word choices are always so poetic. This is such good storytelling!!