This is my attempt at writing lyrics in the style of an old show tune (my big obsession at the moment), with a few cultural references, albeit in a very subtle manner.
I would appreciate anyone putting these lyrics to music, and hopefully those denotation will help you understand what I intend it to sound like.
*<> denotes the musical tone desirable for each part
[Intro]
<flowingly, at a middle tempo>
Dear doctor
Before you put me to sleep
Before your anesthetic creeps
Into my brain
I’ve got something to let you know
Dear nurses
I have been told
That memories unfold in your comatose sleep
And words indiscreet yet so sweet
Out of your consciousness they will flow
So before words come out to my mortification
Let me provide you with some explanation…
[Chorus]
<slowly & sentimentally>
Sheila, I still recall her face aglow
Together beside a mistletoe
Dream dancing to a tune so enticing
Sheila, I’ll never forget her lovely talk
About the walk down the wedding aisle
And the sweet trip to the south on the isle
[Bridge]
<in a darker and more intense tone>
Then she left me on one morning
And she gave me no warning
Of her love that was fatally waned
I never knew it was all just feigned
<halts for a moment>
<with a tone of resignation>
Now every night, I shiver at the sight
Of the lonely room without her by my side
And of my soul that has long died
[Outro]
<once again slowly & sentimentally>
Though it’s been so many years
The thoughts of her put me into tears
For I love her
Miss the way she used to purr
In my arms
@stickyfingers Feb 2022
i imagined this as a 70s ballad before i read the liner notes that it was meant to be more like an old show tune... my favorite parts are the first verse and the second part of the bridge. nice job capturing that haunting, desolate feeling of a heartbroken man about to meet his sad end.
as for cultural references... i caught that Sweet Trip reference, bogguher......................................
@roadreg Feb 2022
Wow, nice! I wish I could write like this. Very satisfying cadence, and the imagery is vivid and beautiful.
@tseaver Feb 2022
Fun write! I like the long "verse" (what the old Tin Pan Alley folks called the intro which moved from the spoken dialogue to the 32-bar AABA "chorus"): you've done the framing there really well.