Feb 2022 anger transformation guitars indie indie-pop
I took the afternoon off from work today so I could work on music! I don't think I've ever done that for any previous FAWMs but I like it. I woke up with the first part of the first verse in my head, and recorded it as a quick little voice memo, then spent the afternoon coming up with a chorus and fleshing out the arrangement. I'm not sure the verse has a lot to do with the chorus musically, but I like the juxtaposition.
I just started reading a book called "The Cow in the Parking Lot" about ways to deal with and transform anger, and the lyrics are kind of inspired by that--originally the verse with the feathers had a cow in it, which I decided didn't seem very poetic, so the cow got the nonviolent axe. I don't know who Emily is; she just has a good number of syllables.
I’m having issues playing FAWM-hosted songs at the moment—here’s a backup link if you are having this issue too:
https://miscellaneousowl.bandcamp.com/track/emily-i-dont-want-to-feel-this-way-forever
Isn't this always how it goes
When you know
You're gonna be alone?
Even the dog's afraid you'll bite
With your knuckles white
Does it keep you up at night?
Emily, I'm scared
I don't want to feel this way forever
Help me
When you're not there
I don't matter
Help me
Emily, Emily, I'm scared
Help me not care
Gripping a match
About to strike it
And then I stop
Oh, I'm all clouds and stormy weather
A burst of bloody feathers
Scattered in the parking lot
Emily, I'm scared
I don't want to feel this way forever
Help me
When you're not there
I don't matter
Help me
Emily, Emily, I'm scared
Help me not care
Emily, I'm scared
I don't want to feel this way forever
Help me
When you're not there
I don't matter
Help me
Emily, Emily, I'm scared
Help me not care
@balancelost Mar 2022
"A burst of bloody feathers scattered in the parking lot" Have you been feeding pigeons plaster of paris again? I like these lyrics though. They have an unhealthy dollop of fear to go with the anger. My main feelings are of joy at that catchy chorus, though I am a little sad about the cow.
@mariekevinkmusic Feb 2022
Oh I really enjoyed this. It's poppy but with a darkness in the lyrics. Also, taking time off for FAWM is a requirement for having a great time. Work is a nuisance in February.
@cabinmonster Feb 2022
Love the line 'a burst of bloody feathers'. What an image! Really enjoyed this. the shift from the bright poppy chorus and the darker verses really keeps it interesting . And the stop-starts work perfectly. Wow!
@andrea Feb 2022
I love this tune. It is so catchy with clever melodies. The images really get your theme across well. I really enjoyed this song!
@kendrakinsey Feb 2022
I love this so much! The stops, the instrumentation and the build are so effective.
@ericlord Feb 2022
I love your stuff! Perfect amount of weird.
Also:
> I don't know who Emily is; she just has a good number of syllables.
How I write 100% of my lyrics haha
@tukayandryan Feb 2022
Oooh this is sooo catchy! Your voice is great. Such a good listen!
@czep Feb 2022
I'm absolutely singing along with this chorus. Brilliantly done!
@susyblue Feb 2022
This is such radio ready catchiness - I wish I heard this whilst driving to give me good get-going vibes with a slight bit of anger energy :) There’s something intriguing about a name - I was thinking of writing a song with a friend’s name but wasn’t sure, but this reassures me it’s awesome
@p3t3h4rv3y Feb 2022
awesome
@kenficara Feb 2022
This jumped out at me on the FAWMcast -- great jangly sound on the guitars and quite a contrast in the lyrics. (What's up with Emily? People are forever playing with her name in song titles.)
@theawkwardsleep Feb 2022
Good start! You should keep taking off days of work for FAWM. We do this too. :) Guitars are really great and love the layers and your vocals of course too .
@kadmad202 Feb 2022
Someone earlier said that this is a good gallop of a song, and it did kind of make me feel like when you're riding a horse that's just a little out of control, so you're hanging on for dear life, and yet you're totally exhilarated at the same time, with a huge smile on your face. Yeah, this song is pretty much like that!
@sumnersloane Feb 2022
Your voice is great. The track is so clean and tight. I'm also a big fan of songs that drop names into the lyrics (whether they are based on real people or not). Different genres, but Springsteen and Steely Dan do this all the time.
@sailingmagpie Feb 2022
I've always found Emily to be a good name to sing until some of my friends rudely named their daughter that, so I can't really use it now. So selfish of them!
Love the almost Kiss groove in the verse before the sunny chorus arrives. I think the juxtaposition of the verse and the catchy chorus works really well. Excellent start to the month for you!
@kenmattsson Feb 2022
How have I not commented on this already. It's so good. Love you voice and the different, quirky little breaks and other aspects you put in there. Reminds me of the first challenge of FAWM 2021 when we had to use someone's name in a song.
@ferry0123 Feb 2022
The lines 'Emily, I'm scared' and 'Help me not care' are so catchy. This is poppy with sounds that please my ears, especially that guitar. Likable with a bite in both music and lyrics.
@cleanshoes Feb 2022
I like the contrast between the restrained anger of the verse and the catchy confession of the chorus. "A burst of bloody feathers scattered in the parking lot" is a great line!
@nahlej381 Feb 2022
That guitar has bite! Very cool tune love the guitar tones
@rayboneor Feb 2022
Nice rocking guitar. It's like a sweet owl confection mashed up with some classic rock, which is great. I love all the melody and harmony, but what else is new: that's just the run-of-the-mill excellence we expect from you. That striking a match/bloody feathers verse hits pretty damned hard
@ampersandman Feb 2022
Strong lyrics juxtaposed with enjoyable 90s style indie rock (so right up my street). Getting some Elastica/Lush/Breeders vibes.
@mikedebenham Feb 2022
This is great. Lovely contrast between the jumpy verses and the more gently terrified choruses. Glad to hear you again.
@mardeycranbleson Feb 2022
Such a beautiful song . Hope I remember to come back and listen again. Perfectly constructed and so many sweet hooks!
@dvdshnsmth Feb 2022
This is a really fun track
Nice work , cool voice as always cheers
@slawbleu Feb 2022
I don't want to analyze this -- I love it far too much. Really, I just want to listen to it on repeat all day. What a phenomenal start!
@schlimminycricket Feb 2022
this rules
@sheslin Feb 2022
You had me at "even the dog's afraid you'll bite"! Also your melody and delivery pulled me right it. Very cool song. Just shared it with 2 FAWM friends :D
@starfinger Feb 2022
yeah great! i like that bass just jumping right into it and the angular guitar parts in particular.
@calumcarlyle Feb 2022
Cool song. I like the entire sound but actually it's the songwriting i like most, how you've written the lyrics to be interesting, and then supported it with those cool guitar lines. I like it when lead guitars are used successfully as accompaniment.
@stephenwordsmith Feb 2022
If I didn't know you better, I would swear you were cheating, and had sneaked into an alternative timeline and stolen a ska pop hit from 2001 and claimed it as your own.
Then the clues that this was something a little deeper started coming thick and fast. That second verse is so evocative despite the familiarity (and occasional unpalatability) of the metaphors. But that's how anger is.
The plea for help in the chorus is so raw and honest, and the soothing vocal tone is such a foil to the roughness of both the guitarwork and the lyrical content. It brings out the tortured state of the narrator.
This is the sort of song that could slip insight into the minds of young listeners through its pop skill - the auditory equivalent of tricking them into eating their vegetables.
@dasbinky Feb 2022
Wow, I love that melody! Very cool tune, awesome layers. Super catchy!
@loveonamixtape Feb 2022
Ooh, this is very cool! Taking the day off paid off! The juxtaposition between the chorus and the verse definitely works -- love the darker, crunchier vibe of the verse, and that guitar riff in the second verse sounds siqqqqq, and then love how it moves into that nice dreamy, mid 90s indie-ish picked guitar in the following chorus. Your voice and harmonies sound great as always, and like how evocative the lyrics, especially that "burst of bloody feathers" line.
@kissinginpublic Feb 2022
Great start… Crunchier than I expected but still very indie pop! Wonderfully poetic lyrics… Loads or really good imagery.
@shortdan Feb 2022
Ooh, that melody is quirky and all sorts of ace! Catchy indie-pop goodness running all the way through. More please!
@crisp1 Feb 2022
Very catchy chorus and I like the way you play with stops and spaces. Some very cool lines -- the dog, the weather. And then the gut-puncher in the chorus "when you're not there, I don't matter." Awesome writing.
@tawny249 Feb 2022
I agree with everyone else, the difference between the verses and chorus actually works, given the lyrics. You sound great. I really like the little sprinkles of imagery in a song that's mostly about emotions.
@unkept Feb 2022
Really love the sound you have here, the way you sing the name Emily, the lyrics and plea for help... All excellent!
@kevinmason Feb 2022
Wow, great composition. So much texture! The contrast from verse to chorus is wonderful, the lyrics flow right along. There’s so much energy here. Love it.
@ayehahmur Feb 2022
Juxtaposition is what it's all about here, and it really works. Love how the verse is straight in, no messing, with the punchy minor key repressed anger, and then *boom* we're uplifted to a place of self-awareness, asking for help. Tight dischord and then soaring openness. Those lines about the feathers in the parking lot are so visceral, but so necessary to help us understand the cry for help. Really clever, and very very listenable.
@brisk Feb 2022
Sometimes you can tell a song is going to be awesome just because of the title, and this is one of those. Just a lovely, sweet, desperate gallop of a song. I know this is about the song more than the performance/production, but to my ear you completely nail those anyway. Special note made of that clean, twangy guitar. Words on point too - I remember you are really good at stark imagery, but veiling things in just the right amount of ambiguity. Love it!
@brisk Feb 2022
Sometimes you can tell a song is going to be awesome just because of the title, and this is one of those. Just a lovely, sweet, desperate gallop of a song. I know this is about the song more than the performance/production, but to my ear you completely nail those anyway. Special note made of that clean, twangy guitar. Words on point too - I remember you are really good at stark imagery, but veiling things in just the right amount of ambiguity. Love it!
@frenchcricket Feb 2022
Right out of the blocks with a pop smash. The melody is wonderful, al always... and that noodly, Pavement-y picked guitar sounds so good, especially in that bit after the first chorus.
@francessmith Feb 2022
Came to listen because I loved the title. You've captured well the feeling of helplessness we have when our emotions can't be controlled, in a perfect pop song capsule. Love the use of imagery which makes it feel very real.
@adforperu Feb 2022
Bit fan of a song that starts acapella in such a way. The transition from those palm-muted slightly dark (at least in the 2nd) verses to the opened-wide choruses is so very satisfying. This is very much an indie-pop smash and I can't wait for more!
@paulh1237 Feb 2022
The kinda dissonant guitars is the second verse ticked this over into 'totally awesome' to me. The chorus is hook-tastic but the whole song still has all these little details and your vocals are as good as ever. Love it.
@davidtaro Feb 2022
Well done for taking the afternoon off. I just did music and pretended to colleagues I was working :D . I love that galloping rhythm you play on the guitar at the start, seemed really cool and quite unique. And I think the shift between the verse and chorus is kind of the song’s USP, it definitely doesn’t feel forced, just like an interesting musical choice. The first two verses could genuinely be standalone poetry too. V jealous of that! Great start.
@thelowestbitter Feb 2022
The contrast between the tension of the more staccato (I stole that word from thedutchwidows, I was gonna say stabby) verses and the more opened out chorus works a treat. Vocal melody is super hooky, feel like I’ll have “Emily I’m scaaaared” going round my head all day. Really enjoyed this, excellent opener!
@vomvorton Feb 2022
I think I've probably taken at least a couple of days off work every February for the last 15 years, sometimes full weeks! you're playing on hard mode!
The guitars sound really great here, love that instrumental breakdown in the middle and the kinda chugging rhythm! Excellent lyrics and melody as ever (if you jot down a tune in a voice memo, is that a memody?) - excellent start!
@thedutchwidows Feb 2022
Not surprised you rate this a favourite. This is superb - the chorus is brilliant and I could listen to it all day on a loop. The melody, with the descending guitar, and the BVs all fit perfectly (that "help me" line is so, so good). The juxtaposition with the more staccato verses works really well and lyrically, it hits an absolute sweet spot. Fair to say, I like this.
@rubberbandage Feb 2022
Love the ominous key and scale of the verses with the jarring major shift for the choruses! Whoever Emily is, she’d better help quickly, because it sounds like you’re coming unhinged.
How very lucky this community is to have you back for a 9th year!
@karlsburg25 Feb 2022
Oh yes. Thank you for giving my far too early 6 am morning a bit of joy. I love the pauses in the second verse/bridgy bit. And dam that chorus is so catchy and proper ear worming its way into my brain. well worth having the afternoon off. I thought yesterday "Hmmm could do with some days off work in feb!!" thank you for a brilliant morning listen
@majordanby Feb 2022
Fantastically fun and choppy track. The choruses are really catchy and lift the song nicely. The words are intriguing and don’t give too much away, which I always like.
@nancyrost Feb 2022
I love the sound of this, and the way the bright pop is playing against the emotion of the lyrics. Lots of rhythmic fun and surprises.
My mind jumped to Dickinson, especially with the feathers.
@cblack Feb 2022
I like it. Fun, bouncy, and I love the frequent stops. They add rather than subtract. And your voice is fantastic. Great job!
@billwhite51 Feb 2022
the first half reminds me of lush at their most commercial, then it becomes more serious as the jolly groove becoms more insistently SOS-ing
@coolparadiso Feb 2022
Oh my goodness this is good! The quieter bits remind me of a band but it escapes me! (Maybe camera obscura) Either way a nice song with lots of little bits and fills that lifts it above the field.
@zecoop Feb 2022
Great transition between the verse/chorus - super catchy and the harmonies and pauses really make it pop. Fun song about a not fun topic. So well done and a great listen. :)
@mikegtz Feb 2022
Oh, this is good, clever, catchy and all that. Nice first song out of the gate!
@richaaaay Feb 2022
The chorus on this is super catchy. I agree that the juxtaposition between the verse and chorus works well. Take of afternoons from work more often...
@metalfoot Feb 2022
Really liking the chord structure and melody a lot in this one and the lyrics are definitely evocative.