Just a thing I thought of on my bike today
To be honest
With you
And With myself
I did this funny dance
It was a left foot in the past
And a right foot
paused
just before Touching
anything at all
To be honest with those
So close at hand
to touch
To touch
to touch
With a hand that
doesn’t do some fancy Work
to whisk the prize away
I did This funny little dance
Such a funny dance I did…
(I felt had to) Do This funny little dance
Just To keep you!
the truth of this situation is
This calm serenity of lies
And jagged juggling
Back and forth between
So If you ever saw a swallow
Dive to the surface
of a lake At dusk
The tension at the surface
the asymptotic touch
Repeated again
and again
And again
You know
This funny little dance
Such a funny dance I did…
(I felt had to) Do This funny little dance
Just To keep you!
a foot in the truth
a foot to stand firm
a foot that’s
Always
Ready to run
@elesimo Feb 2022
Oh wow, the lyrics are so mesmerizing. I pictured the funny little dance, a tentative back and forth, like a bird walking. This is really good and has definitely inspired me!
@cloudhopper Feb 2022
good lyric
I like what you have done here
@zecoop Feb 2022
This is so beautiful and lyrically painted. It conjured so many images and feelings. Especially loved the This calm serenity of lies And jagged juggling Back and forth between part. Such a wonderful flow. And the image of swallows diving. I have no idea how that would translate to song, but as always, would love to hear it. :)
@candle Feb 2022
I absolutely love the verse:
"The tension at the surface
the asymptotic touch
Repeated again
and again
And again"
That is just brilliant & so evocative in my mind. This is really a great write.
See You In The Shadows…
@guatecoop Feb 2022
This is great!! I love when I start out reading something and it turns down a path that I wasn’t expecting. I’m not a writer but I certainly know when I come across pieces that have depth and speak to me in a way that is so nuanced. Really well done! This makes me want to try to sing it in a song….
@gilhari Feb 2022
@tseaver Thanks for the feedback… definitely once working along with music some tongue detangling would occur
@tseaver Feb 2022
Nice write! The frozen in time / hanging balance bit is neat, and the near rhyme between "past" and "paused" works really well. "Jagged juggling" is really strong (any maybe hard to sing, too!).