if i just pretend that i'm writing an email to myself. no one would read it. no one would see. how fucked up. no we're not there yet. who knows if we'll get there? i couldn't say. but i kind of feel like i should try. for what? release of some kind? truth? self? a lapsed gas and focused on focusing on nothing at all.
feeling like the floor slipped out. both forward and reversed time. oh, did i mention that i'm high? does it matter? do i? does anyone? yes. a far too few. i oscillate between i got this and i need to get out.
outside. out at the bar. hell even a club. i've never really been to a club. i mean i've been to a club but i've never really BEEN to a club, u know? u know. i can tell. cause i'm writing to myself.
not for anyone else. i can have fun with it. i can get lost in it. i can make things that don't make sense. i can stare at a blank page and it doesn't matter cause it's mine. i can fall into abyss, it's bliss. it's everything and nothing all at once. i may never hit the enter key again. nothing needs to end. even after it's gone it's not. it's all around.
oh did i mention i was gay? am i gay? am i queer? can i be both? i'm not what i always thought i was. it's fucked up to me i never saw it. it's fucked up i always denied it. like i had anything to deny.
i was so sure i knew who i was. and i've realized in my thirties i don't have a clue. i want to find out. it's clear to me that i know nothing about myself.
@kenmattsson Feb 2022
Wow, so powerful. The vocal delivery is just so strong and emotional. Congrats on this discovery. It's a great life when you are true to yourself. Revel in it and dip into that well for your creative self.
The guitar is really solid too.
@mikeskliar Feb 2022
This is amazing - what a great technique to just open up as as “email to myself “ - brave, inspiring and well done.
@gardeningangel1 Feb 2022
The way this opened I expected a really lo-fi demo but then your voice came in and I was completely floored. This is amazing. The emotion in the lyrics and your voice... got me right in the feels. Thank you for sharing this song. Adding it to my library.
@atam94 Feb 2022
this is so good. I love the rawness and honesty here. I enjoyed your projects from previous years, and I'm looking forward to more of your songs this year, too.
@tabitha Feb 2022
I don't know that there is much more I can say than wow. Your vocals carry off the emotion so well and I love the way you write lyrics. When I saw how densely they were written on the page I wasn't sure I'd be able to follow along, but you pulled me in immediately. The line "I oscillate between I got this and I need to get out" was a standout one for me, but all kept me engaged. Nicely done!
@jorh Feb 2022
This is awesome - I’m always in awe of people that can write such dense beautiful, lyrics and get them to fit seamlessly to music. If I tried I think I’d just end up with a random mess of words hahah. I love the introspective nature and constant questioning without providing the answer. Really applaud the raw honesty. Enjoyed your vocal a lot as well - especially when you used your lower range.
@w1n Feb 2022
Really like this, would like to but I never dare to present something that is so raw, naked and honest.
@guatecoop Feb 2022
Wow man, this is fantastic. I have never heard this voice from you before and it comes through loud and clear....emotional....personal. Really great! Well done and I appreciate your courage in putting this out there in the raw, unmasked way that it came out in one take.
@mahtowin Feb 2022
This is so honest! I am following your voice and your words and I am a bit sad, that this song ended ...and in a way I am with you - great song! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
@sheilerk Feb 2022
This was so compelling. Just, Wow!! It left me wanting it to go on and on and on. So honest and vulnerable. You’re on my watch list. I know I’ll be back.
@outinpublicdrummer Feb 2022
This really captures a lot of tension and anxiety, at least that's what I interpreted from the tone and the lyrics. Beautiful!
@dabirks Feb 2022
This was the first FAWM song I listened to this year and I would be perfectly satisfied if it were also my last. You really captured great energy and honesty that I always seem to self-censor. I
am certain that every single person who listens will find a slice of themself somewhere in those lyrics.
Thanks for sharing!
@alyxanderjames Feb 2022
This is excellent and flows so well - looking at the lyrics I didn’t know how this was going to work, but it all fits together really well. Great start to FAWM!
@rvines Feb 2022
Great vibe. Perfectly captures the internal dialog!
@frey Feb 2022
This flows so well! Great stream-of-thought storytelling. I love that the lyrics are formatted kind of like an e-mail, lol.