Feb 2022 needs-music needs-vocals lyrics only maybe music and definitely female vocal
This MIGHT have music--I'm checking to see if the music is still available. But I'm definitely looking for a female vocalist. If you have music ideas for it, I would be delighted to talk with you. Just let me know.
A Man I Don’t Know
Patty Lakamp © Copyright 2022
V1
Run into friends, go for a drink
Grab the last table in the bar
Darkened room, live music at eight
Typical night, at least so far
V2
Man trundles in, steps to the stage
Adjusts the mic, sets out his jar
Frumpy clothes, forgettable face
He reaches down, picks up his guitar
Ch 1
And he wraps himself around me
It’s just us two alone
I’m swept up in his music
His voice calls me home
Can he sing a little longer
I don’t want him to go
I’m under the spell
Of a man I don’t know
A man I don’t know
V3
See him in town at the grocery store
Nothing clicks, it’s so bizarre
I’m all undone by this stranger
When he picks up his magic guitar
Ch 1
And he wraps himself around me
It’s just us two alone
I’m swept up in his music
His voice calls me home
Can he sing a little longer
I don’t want him to go
I’m under the spell
Of a man I don’t know
Br
Need to shake off this obsession
Find a man I love for real
Sharing the kind of connection
Both of us can feel
Ch 2
When he wraps himself around me
It’s just us two alone
Swept up in our music
Finally found our home
Can we sing a little longer
I don’t want him to go
I’m under the spell
Of a man I really know
@colgoo Feb 2022
Great storytelling, Patty. Some people grow on you over time. I am a sucker for a sexy voice! Anyway, an enjoyable write! Very promising song.
@greengrassgirl Feb 2022
Thanks @dukongp100, for taking the time to listen and comment. I appreciate the specific feedback. I wish I could say, like you do, "I play guitar, piano and write." You have all the ingredients! Looking forward to hearing your songs.
@greengrassgirl Feb 2022
Re-directed.
@greengrassgirl Feb 2022
Re-directed.
@dukongp100 Feb 2022
This is a lovelytake on falling for a performer in their persona. Good use of reality versus desirs. The wrapping around me.line is a great image of the performer and the connection the narrator feels in that moment
@tabitha Feb 2022
I love that description you give of "Frumpy clothes, forgettable face". It gives such a good image of the sort of person we are visualising!
@bradbrubaker Feb 2022
The story created in V1 & 2 and Chorus 1 is such a full, full picture. I was thrown by the comedy of the third verse, like "Who is this guy? Oh! That one I sorta kinda fell for when he was singing the other night." And then the bridge realizes romanticizing this dude isn't going to chase away loneliness quite like finding someone of real flesh and blood can.
@greengrassgirl Feb 2022
Thanks @gregorymckillop
I went back and forth on that last Chorus because it didn't quite work by keeping it the same, and I was looking for some kind of recognition on her part that she was moving on to something real...yet still tying it into the other Ch's. So I am open to suggestions to make it better. Writing is Rewriting! :)
@gregorymckillop Feb 2022
I really like this subversion of the love-obsession song and of being a fan of someones music (especially the stereotype of women falling for average men with guitars!) and how the character is like ok I gotta get this guy outta my mind.
I don't really 100% know what I mean by this, but I am torn between how the final chorus is written currently (which it being so similar to the other choruses makes for really good songwriting sensibilities) vs having the last chorus be written just a bit more different (to represent her moving on to something new). Even though you changed the words, it being similar enough to the others makes it feel like she hasn't really moved on, or maybe just replaced him with another guy in a non-new way.
Maybe it would come off differently when I hear it with singing or music, but just a thought or idea I had! Really cool work here :)