"Better to burn out than to fade away..." or...?
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@dukongp100 May 2022
I did karaoke the other night, two songs. The first I worked a bit too hard to put in energy ( burning out ). The second song got a better reception and was less of an effort ( fade away ? ).
Likely more alcohol in the systems, but I attributed it to being more relaxed that I cared less than the first. Many factors come in play, but it comes down to I feel, caring less about impressing. Seems a good way to approach my music making now. I defiantly feel better afterwards than the harsh belting.
Has anyone found a similar story for them, where they relaxed more in something, and it seemed to go better ? -
@cblack May 2022
I do this every time I pick up a guitar. Starts off being forced, usually becomes natural after 30 seconds (on a good day) to 5 minutes (on a bad day).
Having it come naturally is so important. Only down side is that "natural" isn't necessarily "great", especially when starting out. Learning the difference between natural and great can be humbling.
BUT! Natural improves over time. :) -
@cblack May 2022
Those first few minutes, though... Yikes!
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@carleybaer May 2022
As a performer, I always want to exude the most energy, but as a listener, I can always tell when someone's overdoing it. The biggest turn-off for me as an audience member is someone who puts it all on the table before the first chorus. Conversely, I find it so compelling when I can sense that the performer has more than they're giving us, and it's so satisfying when they finally let loose.
There's a reason many of us get into performing, and I've definitely fallen into the "hey look at me!" trap at times. But I think a more captivating move is to take the stage, knowing full well what you're capable of, and perform what you feel instead of what you think the audience will respond to. Performing is really just an energy exchange between us and the audience. If we're not cognizant of where they're at and trying to bring them to us, and instead trying to dazzle them with our chops or whatever, there's a disconnect that takes away from the performance no matter how flawless it may be.
I guess the tl;dr is not to try so hard onstage. The time to try hard is when you practice, so that you can get up there and make it seem effortless. -
@tjeff May 2022
Just dropped back in to the FAWM site to see if anything was happening. So glad to see this thread! @carleybaer, your post was exactly what I needed to read! I've been struggling with allowing myself to be "comfortable" while on stage. I have lots of stage experience, but most is as a back-up musician or band member. My recent foray into performing solo as a singer-songwriter has been difficult because of performance anxiety (which I don't experience in group situations). I've been playing out at open mics a couple times a week and my current goal is to simply "experience" the performance and also to allow myself to be a "beginner" in this venture. I love what you said about letting go of audience expectation and to perform what you feel. And what you wrote about trying to hard fits me so well - I've noticed that I am over-exerting myself a lot when on stage - strumming too hard, to the point that the guitar is going out of tune, as well as singing too hard. Anyway, thanks so much for your post!!
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@mandolinda May 2022
Great advice. I also learned tldr.
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@andygetch May 2022
+1 on what @carleybaer shared on performing, feeling and I would add that when I am playing in front of people, it is not about me, it is about the songs. If I don't play my own songs, then no one else will. @tjeff you got this!
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@chipwithrow May 2022
Great thread, so I decided to keep it going in these last few days before site hibernation.
I got to a point pre-Covid where I felt almost no pre-performance jitters at all, and then was very comfortable actually performing. So I like to to think I was being very natural in my delivery.
Of course, one of my main gigs was an outdoor market also frequented by my pal @andygetch - and no need to get nervous there since the audience of active listeners was seldom more than the number of people who could fit at a picnic table.
Andy and I were also both unafraid to do our own songs - as he put it, if we don't then who will?
I did perform a few times - online and in person - over the last two years, mainly playing cover songs. So I'm not altogether rusty, and I would think the confidence will come back should I decide to perform again.
But I must add - I don't miss it all that much. -
@tcelliott May 2022
I have massive stage fright. Severe, is the word, I think. I did a class performance as part of my final project and my heart rate was averaging 158 bpm... for the half hour BEFORE I started to perform. You know, as I'm sitting around relaxing. I've pretty much decided not to ever perform again as a result.
All that being said, I have found that the more I do, the easier it gets. And if there were any way I could ever relax I would definitely be a better performer. -
@tjeff May 2022
I would love to get to the point where I'm playing/singing onstage the same way I do at home. Honestly, I even get a bit nervous in front of my wife, kids, and friends. I appreciate the encouragement @andygetch! And I occasionally get the same jacked-up heart rate @tcelliot. One of my biggest on-stage phobias is that I'll forget the lyrics - that actually happened last week on one of my newer songs, and guess what - I survived!! It was ok, I faked it a bit and kept going! I didn't get in any trouble, wasn't arrested or anything lol!! Imagine that!
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@andygetch May 2022
@tjeff fun fact. In almost every performance I have ever done I forgot or at least messed up my own or other memorized lyrics on one or more songs. Not to mentioned muffed or playing the wrong chords. I quickly learned to keep the rhythm and move on, as you did. Because most of the time, no one notices. My experience at open mics is that most everyone who is listening is supportive. A fair number seem to be more focused on their turn, or talking to friends, than listening to anyone else. Performance is a skill, just like playing an instrument, or songwriting, that as @tcelliott said, is something we get better at with practice. Both of you write great songs that deserve to be heard.
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@tjeff May 2022
I appreciate the wisdom @andygetch! My new mantra is "it's about the song." And speaking of forgetting lyrics, we just went to an Aimee Mann concert and she forgot her lyrics towards the beginning of one song, stopped the band, and simply restarted the song. That gave me some encouragement as well!
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@dukongp100 May 2022
@tjeff also oasis were famous for forgetting lyrics/chords too, resorting to restarting, or even just not bothering and moving on - and they did pretty well for themself, not considering the partying lol
im very much a forget the lyrics person. karaokie i get away with bcause the lyrics are on screen. but get me to recite them under pressure and thud! gone.
@andygetch yes i find people forget rather quickly when something goes a little bit wrong, for some its more for their own reasons to attend. not usually hecklers at the places i used to go regular, just friendly fun and a circle of talent joining in or sharing progress, even just singing along
this can spill over to other areas of your life too - like, what else can you relax more, pressure yourself less in, and still see similar/better outcome.
