Can't stand the sound of my own voice
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@frank Feb 2022
I tried recording a bit last night and found that I just don't like the sound of my voice. I'm not sure I can get through my first FAWM if I can't stand listening to myself. I came out of day 1 feeling pretty down, and that isn't a recipe for success, so I figured I'd ask around here, since this is probably not uncommon. What do you guys and gals do? Just ignore it and keep recording? Avoid vocals at all costs? Purposefully make weird sounds so you at least have a reason to sound odd?
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@gm7 Feb 2022
EVERYONE says that...but I think that John Lennon didn't like the sound his voice...and he did pretty good!! Stay at it. FAWM is a family, so nothing to worry about here.
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@notenkraker Feb 2022
I've had bloody amazing vocalists in my studio over the past few years of which a few came from theatre. These singers never heard themselves on a direct recording and pretty much all of them were petrified with the dry playback. This is because all the ambience and room reverb gets muted when recording over a cardioid microphone. On top of that most microphones tend to be pretty boomy when put at close proximity.
Most FAWMers get used to it but I would strongly recommend dowsing your vocal in a little bit of reverb and lifting a bit of the high-end with an EQ. Maybe take a (literal) step back from the microphone and adding some compression will do the trick as well. This should alleviate a some of the grievances you have with your recorded voice. And last but not least, just keep going, you will get used to it and you will know what to expect when you start playing back your takes! -
@claycove Feb 2022
Nobody likes their own voice in the beginning, don't sweat! You're used to hearing your voice from inside your own head so to yourself you sound really weird and it takes some time to get used to it! Don't worry about it, be gentle with yourself and just have fun!
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@seanbrennan Feb 2022
It was my 6th FAWM before I could tolerate my own voice. This may sound like strange advice, but what allowed me to overcome this was to start singing in almost a caricaturized style of a singer I really liked. For example, when I do grungier tunes, I do an exaggerated Eddie Vedder or Chris Cornell impersonation. This sounds like bad advice, right? Like it'll make our stuff less authentic? Ironically, I found that by moving through all these elements that WEREN'T "my" voice, I started honing in on the elements that WERE. I also expanded and solidified my technique - not that it's GOOD, but at least now it's CONSISTENT. All the while, each "not-me" take allowed me to overcome the uncanny valley and acclimate to hearing myself through playback. Doing caricatures also for whatever reason completely dissolves first-line syndrome and breathy-apartment-voice for me.
And for now... definitely don't be shy about putting a little "too much" reverb to make it more palatable. Nobody's judging you, or if they do, send 'em to me. :-) -
@pornstache Feb 2022
I, too, can't stand the sound of my own recorded voice. However, I have learned to growl when necessary or throw some effects on it and it becomes palatable. The reality is, some people are gonna like it and some people aren't, and you can't worry about that. Just do it until you like it!
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@airbagtester Feb 2022
I still don't like the sound of my own voice. Maybe try different ranges? Do a song where you sing low, middle, high, harmonize some, until you find that sweet spot? For me it ended up being much higher than I thought it would be. Now I sing backup vocals in a band.
You can also try double-tracking the vocals, which... well it sounds cooler sometimes, not that it fixes any singing. -
@mariekevinkmusic Feb 2022
Also, keep in mind this is about songwriting. So the sound of your voice is not the most important thing. I mean, for all we know, Bernie Taupin has a terrible voice. Or Andrew Lloyd-Weber ;-)
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@lastnightilie Feb 2022
Just keep going and you will probably get used to your voice and/or get better with practice. If your goal isn't to be a great singer but just to write songs, then you don't have to be good at singing, you're just using your voice as a way to get your songs out. And if you really don't think you're a good singer and want to get better, you could always take voice lessons or watch YouTube lessons... probably not during FAWM, of course! If you go down that rabbit hole you won't have any time to write songs haha.
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@phenola Feb 2022
Yeah, this is a very common affliction.
> Just ignore it and keep recording?
I think this is pretty much the answer. When I was at university I did student radio, and we used to tape the shows (mainly just so we could listen back later to the records we played). I hated listening to my speaking voice at first, but I got used to it pretty quickly, and now I don't care any more. -
@ianuarius Feb 2022
It might not sound the way you'd like it to sound.
Still doesn't mean that it's bad.
Embrace being the unique you. Many people spend their lives trying to sound unique. Trick is, don't try to sound like everyone else. -
@improvyssey Feb 2022
We get this idea of what our own voices sound like because we hear them resonating inside our heads. Then we hear own voices recorded, and the difference is so stark that we automatically hate the "real" sound. Personally, I think my voice makes me sound like a soulless vampire in the body of a 12-year-old boy, and I envy people with more melodious voices, but I've learned to live with it. It's just something we all have to do, unfortunately. Also, other people don't hear your voice like you do.
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@breezyanna Feb 2022
Super common! I recoiled from recordings of my voice for years. When I started recording with my duo, I kind of just had to force myself to listen, give myself grace, and eventually the voice in my head began to match the voice on the recording. I really think you just have to expose yourself to it as much as possible until it shifts in your brain.
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@cblack Feb 2022
Play a character. This goes for playing live on stage, too. Playing a character helps you get into a good mindset for performing, and it helps keep you consistent.
And hey, if you don't like how it sounds, that's not *your* problem! That's Sven, the wealthy industrialist's problem! -
@spikedirection Feb 2022
I put a ton of saturation on my vocals, either in post or by recording through a deliberately lo fi mic. This is because I hate my voice, it's very common.
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@headfirstonly Feb 2022
Oh, *so* much the same.
It took seven or eight years of suffering or making excuses to only do instrumentals before I twigged that the way you get past it is by pretending that "the singer" is somebody else that you hire at short notice, like @cblack said. "The singer" still might not be any good (mine certainly isn't, even now) but they're there to deliver a performance. So make it a proper one. Be overly dramatic. Chew the scenery. Go nuts. The more eccentric and overplayed it is, the more fun it becomes!
(Think of Tom Waits; do you think he sounds like that when he's doing the shopping?)
I've also discovered is that burying your voice in effects is usually counterproductive. It's tough to drop distortion or reverb if you're using them to hide behind, but the song will be better without them. -
@frenchcricket Feb 2022
You're far from alone in that! I hated my voice for decades, and actually spent years trying to change it (from male to female).
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@alboe Feb 2022
Definitely don’t like my voice.
Just keep at it and in time you’ll accept it for what it is. -
@wrenarcher Feb 2022
I'm like @frenchcricket in that I haven't liked my voice in the past and for me, I'm still working on trying to make it sound different because I too am shapeshifting from male to female. Still not liking my singing voice at all and am considering doing some spoken word stuff.
There are a handful of FAWMers who are doing really interesting, really good stuff with spoken word on top of music so maybe that's something you might consider if it really bothers you that much.
But like others have said, it's more about the songwriting than the song performing. -
@wacha Feb 2022
Oh, I always hate the sound of my vocals. Generally I record vocals, listen back, cry for at least a half an hour because I've realized I can't sing and somehow fooled myself into thinking that I could then come back a day or so later and like them a little bit better.
I now have a rule that other than FAWM and 50/90 that I record vocals one day and listen to them the next. Don't even get me started on having to listen to myself in an interview. -
@frenchcricket Feb 2022
Also, if you’re desperate there’s always plugins to change it
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@improvyssey Feb 2022
@frenchcricket That is, of course, how you end up getting Darth Vader singing "Let It Go."
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@tseaver Feb 2022
Even if you don't use as much effect (reverb, compression) on the mixed vocal, it can really help to have some on the bit you monitor yourself with when singing. Of course, adding compression or reverb (only) to the monitor mix isn't easy, without some knowledge (and maybe more gear than you have now).
You may still not like the way your voice sounds on the recorded track, but you'll get a better performance if you can smooth out the way you hear yourself when singing. -
@kyrla Feb 2022
I get vocal dysphoria pretty bad but I found last November that if I process and distort the vocals to hell and back I can basically trick my brain into thinking it's someone else singing. Usually very heavy pitch correction, bitcrushing and compression (although tastes/styles may vary).
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@timfatchen Feb 2022
I keep saying, here, "don't get it right, just get it written" and that applies to the voice too. I don't have a good singing voice. And I compose (seriously, a third-rater-I actually rate which is something) operatic music among other things) where the poor voice is a nightmare. So what do I do? (1) a lot of the time, I "hire" an alter ego (or is that alter voce?), usually Flying Tadpole, and crank up everything that's wrong with the voice for satiric or comedic effect.
(2) where that's not appropriate, well, i do my best with breathing, staying on pitch, phrasing, emotion and volume. And I have no hesitation in using pitch correction, EQ, compression and multiple other bells and whistles to make it bearable. (3) and I occasionally am able to get really good singers in, like @sherrycanary, but that's hard in FAWM when everyone's priority needs to be their own output. And it takes much more time. So (4) I constantly remind myself that if I don't get it out, even with my voice, it will wither and die. And I think the songs are worth more than that. That is, I'd rather they died after I do than before. -
@carleybaer Feb 2022
I’m in this camp as well, or I used to be before I started making a lot of recordings. You do get used to it. I would refrain from using a lot of reverb, only because sometimes that amplifies the very things you want to disguise. Like @airbagtester mentioned, double-tracking can add some cool texture and that’s usually enough of a disguise for me (one caveat to that, your pitch and phrasing will need to be pretty tight, but it’s also really good practice as far as that goes).
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@pearlmanhattan Feb 2022
I've been singing my whole life, recording for the last 8 years or so - and I will admit I do not like the sound of my voice - it's hard for me to just sit and listen to my own singing - because I pick it apart. It doesn't *sound* like the voice in my head. After having others I trust listen and give me feedback, I've learned to hear my voice as an instrument and work with it that way . I found I had been taught (incorrectly) at an early age that singing particular ways was not desireable (my mother, god rest her poor soul) used to tell me my soulful singing sounded like a tortured cat) I've now realized it wasn't MY singing specifically, but any noise was what was disturbing her. I became able to hear my voice like other people hear it. Too many times, as children, we're discouraged from doing things - and later in life, we forget who said what, but we remember what was said. I say push through it. Fawm isn't about making "radio ready" recordings. It's about writing the song and getting it recorded on what ever you have. Let your music out - I promise you, we really want to hear it!
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@yam655 Feb 2022
@frank I'm actually one of the rarity that actually like the sound of my voice _now_. I got there by going through a period where I was trying to "mess up" my voice with plugins, then I grew to appreciate how versatile it is.
If I were to give you advice, it would be: Don't try to like your voice as a thing of beauty. Just focus on appreciating what it can do.
Also, if your voice has a distinctive sound that doesn't work in every genre, find or create a genre that perfectly fits that sound. Don't run from your distinctive features. Embrace them and make them your own. -
@frenchcricket Feb 2022
@kyrla not sure if you’re into stuff on the PC Music label but that sort of heavy vocal processing is a big thing over there. Obviously SOPHIE was the leading light but she’s gone :(
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@judypie Feb 2022
+1 All I hear is the notes I missed, and then I lose track of if I’m even hitting any of the notes anymore. I’m not tone deaf but I’m *some* kinda deaf that I haven’t found a label for yet. It’s a living nightmare! But dammit i love WRITING songs. I don’t have a workaround for you sadly. Except to say, it’s Fawm! So please don’t worry about it or let it dissuade you from the joy of writing! even if *you* hate your voice, no one else will and everyone will be ultra nice!
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@bachelorb Feb 2022
I think the difference is what we think it sounds like vs what we really sound like. Today I was recording sounds and accidentally left the recorder on. I couldn’t figure out who was talking to my wife...... it was me!!!
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@kenmattsson Feb 2022
Just as some perspective: I'm a trained singer, I'm the one with the big voice that everyone wants to sing. I've got no problem getting up singing for a large crowd, and often I don't like the sound of my voice. As @pearlmanhattan said, what you hear outside of you doesn't sound like what you hear inside your head. It's a different resonance area so it sounds different. We all have our areas that we feel less than and not good enough (for me here it's my instrumental playing, boy do I have a lot of work to do), but everyone has something that they don't think they are good enough at.
FAWM is an area that you are sending a part of yourself out to be seen and heard by many different people, and you have to be really vulnerable to allow that to happen. Luckily, this is a really lovely, kind group, and as @mariekevinkmusic mentioned, this is about songwriting, not performance, and as @timfatchen mentioned, FAWM is about volume, so just get it out there.
Hope this helps! -
@wylddandelyon Feb 2022
I like my voice, usually, but I still tweak the settings in garageband for each song.
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@theresaj Feb 2022
FAWM is about creating music. Don’t get hung up on small details! I’m a singer and I don’t like my voice but I love to sing so I do it because singing brings me joy.
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@dukongp100 Feb 2022
Use your voice like an instrumnt . As a tool to get a idea across
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@kyrla Feb 2022
@frenchcricket you're not the first person to mention SOPHIE and PC Music to me - one of my friends did the same in a very similar conversation after NaSoAlMo '21 and as a result OIL is my most played album this year so far!
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@apolez3 Feb 2022
Hence - why I'm not singing, plus can't hold notes like I'd want.. I'm going to try some spoken word perhaps; though lol gotta finish writing some lyrics first... I'd need singing lessons seriously; if even self taught from you tube or something but really I like doing other things more than pursuing that atm; maybe in the future. I do practice reciting poems aloud at open mic's though. It's just not my forte and really I'm okay with that.
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@scottlake Feb 2022
@frank welcome to the recording world. I have had to just accept the fact that the way it sounds recorded is what people hear and that’s that. I cringe when I hear it, like “Where’s the beef?” To quote an ancient Wendy’s commercial. My sister is a top shelf studio singer and records at Ocean Way in Nashville regularly. She has dealt with the same. It’s not your voice, it’s the cognitive dissonance in hearing it unlike your ears hear it live
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@scottlake Feb 2022
@seanbrennan yes the caricature thing works! That’s been my trick for years now.
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@nateger Feb 2022
I appreciate this thread as I notice those pesky self-hating thoughts too. That being said FAWM is an opportunity to play around and to explore different places of my voice. It's like a playground to see what my voice is capable of. I often find I can make sounds that I didn't know could come out of my mouth.
Mostly, I'm grateful that y'all are sharing your music and your voices. It's medicine to others in ways you may not even be aware of. -
@engebretsen Feb 2022
Just go for it. We are many "not singers" here. But I think Fawm have become a great community where we challenge ourselves. That`s wisdom to learn. And everyone here is accepting that this is not the final result of a song. You bring the idea what you got. And maybe some day you collab with a singer. Or even better: You are actually getting better yourself. When I accepted, what I got is what I got, it was a pressure gone away. I still can`t sing, and I even can`t speak english without sound like a foreigner. But hey! I got fun. You will find that too. I promise!
